The Music of Me

EGGS IN ONE BASKET

2012-01-29T12:05:00.000-08:00

Some fun facts about the way we're living our lives these days:

1. Earlier this week Michael made breakfast burritos for dinner. He used 20 eggs, two green peppers, 25 tortillas, a bag of cheese, and 1/2 a jar of salsa. Not to mention drinks and sides. We go through food like nobody's business, but have found that simply doubling most recipes works well and is super easy. I thought cooking for so many people would be extremely stressful, but it's actually pretty fun, and it's nice to know I don't have to do clean up afterwards :).

2. We have a grocery room here on campus where we get most of our staple items, which is very helpful. Going to the actual grocery store mostly consists of buying dairy, fresh produce, and specialty items. All ten of us (yes, ten - we got our last new girl on Friday - she's in 7th grade like Kat, and she's a fabulous addition) pile up in Big Bertha (what we call our 15 passenger van) and head to Target or Walmart for a 30-45 minute shopping trip. To prepare for this, I make a list for the grocery room, and also one for the grocery store based on the weekly menu I've made, as well as snacks, goodies and frozen foods. I split up the grocery store list 6-8 ways, depending on who's partnering up that week, and each person gets 4-6 items (actually, I usually end up getting 10 or so things, but that's the stuff that can't be explained on a post-it note list :) ). Rather than me wrangling my boys by myself and making it a painful, 2-3 hour ordeal, we all pitch in on Saturday afternoon and knock the trip out in about 45 minutes total, from loading up, to putting away all of the groceries. Nice.

3. Bennett and Jasper are now sharing the large front bedroom in the house. I am so glad we purchased a bunk bed set for them before we moved here, because moving them in together was no big deal at all. Each bedroom in our house has two good-sized closets already, because all of them are set up with the possibility of sharing a room. When Alyssa came, I bunked her up with Kat, our other 7th grader, and moved Milka (our 8th grader who came back in November) into Jasper's old room. Getting new girls and trying to figure out the optimal place to put them is a lot like playing a game of chess. I've tried to be strategic and intentional with the way they influence each other and spend time together. So far our new arrangement is working out beautifully, which I am so thankful for. The Lord has gone ahead of us on each and every decision like this, and He has smoothed the way. B & J love sharing a room and being roomies. Michael and I hear them in there giggling and talking at night, and we just love the memories they are building together. We tell them they need to take care of each other because they are best friends, and now they're actually acting like it, which is so sweet to witness. Thank you, Lord for giving me peace about this transition, and for making it so sweet.

4. Our girls are getting excited about the youth group retreats and mission trips being offered this year at our church, and we're excited that they're excited :). Can't wait to see what the Lord does in these girls this summer, and the way He draws them closer to His side.

5. We have a Family Meeting every Sunday evening at 8:00 where we revisit rules and issues that need to be addressed, and Michael also does a mini-devotional. He really is gifted at this. I am amazed every. single. week. at the message he brings. We've been talking about setting goals, and we have a cork board in the kitchen where the kids have posted their own personal ones, like not biting fingernails (Keke, Kat and me), or not eating after 7:30pm (Cheyenne and Michael), etc. Tonight we're talking about Michael and I's goal to show these girls how to become strong Christian women by the time they turn 18 and eventually leave here. This is what we want for them - to love the Lord with all their hearts, to become wonderful wives and mothers, to contribute to society, to heal and move past what has happened in their young lives.

6. The girls call me Mama J (occasionally Mama or Mom, but mostly Mama J), and they call Michael Big Mac (his initials are MAC, so that's what they came up with :) ). I can't tell you how sweet it is when one of them refers to herself as our daughter, or they say something to their friends like, "My mom would kill me if I did that!" - talking about me. Words like these are ones I will store up in my heart forever. I will never forget that God has given me the privilege and opportunity to be a mother to these precious, lovely girls. I won't ever forget the impact the Lord is allowing us to have. I will be able to see the positive imprint this is experience is having on our boys for years to come. Words really are not adequate for what goes on in our house from day to day - the way these girls are transforming before our eyes. God has placed His hand of blessing on this house. Another testimony He is giving me - one that I will treasure all of my days, I have no doubt. I am allowed to be mom to eight children. Amazing. Sometimes it takes my breath away.

7. Middle school girls are a whole different animal. They are crazy and giggly and impulsive. They are so much fun, and sometimes ridiculously frustrating. I am glad God equips those whom He calls :). The girls are not allowed to have nail polish in their rooms and have to paint their nails in the common area, so imagine my surprise when I went into one of our girl's rooms to do a quick cleaning inspection (which I do randomly and periodically to make sure they keep up with things), and I find a row of blue post-it notes taped down to the carpet by her desk. Huh. I think. What are those doing there? I pry them off the floor and find a GIANT hot pink stain on the carpet, caused by - what else? - nail polish. Girl has been wearing rubber gloves and scrubbing her carpet for days, and has lost all nail painting privileges for the rest of the school year (devastating, I tell you). Believe it or not, the stain is coming up. I highly recommend Goo Gone for such things, in case you ever have a crazy, giggly, impulsive middle school girl of your own :).

DECEMBER FUN

2012-01-15T13:36:00.000-08:00

1. Cheyenne's 15th birthday. That girl is a mile-a-minute talker, she keeps us on our toes, and underneath everything, she has a huge heart and the potential to go absolutely anywhere she wants in life, by sheer will-power alone. She wanted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles birthday (ha!), so that's what she got. We ate out at Texas Roadhouse for dinner and then came back for cake, ice cream and presents with the family.

2. We had two of the cottages over at our house one Friday night in December, and it was nuts. Jam-packed with kids playing Wii, having a Just Dance tournament, playing Twister, playing Hide n Seek in the dark, playing board games, etc. It was SO much fun. We are amazed at how God has put us in this place with other wonderful house parents that we have quickly become good friends with. Our little community here continues to bond closer and closer together. The house moms here have also started rotating having lunches together, going out for coffee, taking walks together, etc., and the house dads all get together to play basketball on Tuesday nights in the gym. It's greatness.

3. When Dan and Vicky (Michael's parents) came to visit us over Christmas, Vicky brought her iPad. Our children's home has provided each cottage with an iPad, so Vicky showed me some wonderful apps, books, and educational programs to download. The boys spent a ridiculous amount of time with "Talking Larry." If you don't know what that is, look it up. I'm pretty sure you can download it to the iPhone as well.

4. A really awesome lady from Michael's school has her own cookie catering business on the side, and she offered to come decorate sugar cookies with us one afternoon when the kids were on Christmas Break. We had a ton of fun, and everybody decorated a sugar cookie for my mom's birthday celebration that night, where we all met up at Freebird's - yum!

5. My newest girl, Kat, is a sweet, precious 7th grade girl. She played the flute at her old school but didn't own an instrument (she had rented at her previous school). I played the flute for years and still had mine, which is in decent condition, so she signed up for band at her school and is using my old flute. She had her first concert in December, and we snapped a couple of pictures before we left. Isn't she adorable?!

6. I tried potty-training Jasper for a couple of days, and right away my suspicions were confirmed: my easy-going little boy is not bothered by messes or nastiness. This was clearly illustrated after a morning of discussing the advantages of being a big boy who uses the potty and gets to wear Thomas the Train underwear (he LOVES Thomas the Train), when he was standing in my bathroom talking to me, right next to his little potty, and proceeded to plop a turd on the floor mid-sentence. Yep. So I sat him on the little potty, talked to him about how that's where the stuff goes, and asked him if he needed to tee-tee. He says, "No," so I give him a book to look at for a couple of minutes to make sure and to bring the point home. Nothing happens. So I set the book down, and stand him up. He immediately begins to pee all over the floor, and the book sitting on the floor beneath him. Fabulous. I have concluded that neither he nor I are ready for him to be potty-trained, and he is still wearing diapers at the ripe old age of 2 years, 10 months. Judge me if you will :). This mama refuses to let bodily fluids stress her out.

P.S. I do not have pictures of this experience, for obvious reasons.

December was a whirlwind of fun and family. We are grateful to be where we are, thankful for the Lord's many blessings, and recognize the necessity and wonderful presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And now on to a new year right by His side!

CHRISTMAS

2012-01-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Christmas was a crazy, wonderful time for us this year. We celebrated right before church on Christmas Day at my parents' house, and again later that day when my extended family came to our home for the day. We were blessed and excited to have Michael's parents with us as well this year. On Christmas Day itself, everyone brought finger foods and we munched on everything instead of having a formal sit down meal, which worked out wonderfully since everyone arrived at different times throughout the day. We played games, had a gift exchange, and renewed our tradition of playing kickball. It was wonderful seeing everyone and having our family all under one roof for the day.

Before Christmas, our cottage went to several parties hosted by churches and organizations, and all of our kids were blessed by the gifts they gave.

On major holidays, our girls all go on family visit for 5-7 days. When they got back, we had our cottage Christmas, watching Christmas movies and opening presents.

We took a ton of pictures, but I don't have them all in an organized place yet. Below is a collection of pictures of all the different ways we celebrated Christmas this year that actually ended up on my computer.

Christmas Day

On our way to the Breakfast Pajama Party hosted by a church in the area.

Cottage Christmas

BIRTHDAY BOYS

2012-01-15T12:37:00.000-08:00

The ridiculousness of just now posting this entry has to be pointed out. Michael's birthday was two months ago, Bennett's was one month ago. I really love having an up-to-date blog, but I think this will continue to be my life for a while. For the first time in my life, I truly understand the phrase, "There are only so many hours in a day."

Without further ado, here is the post I started about a month ago and am just now publishing. Sure do love my birthday boys!

******

Michael turned the big 3-0 back in November, and Bennett turned 5 in the first week of December. Craziness in this house. Absolute craziness.

It's funny how some numbers seem so much more significant than others. Both of them hit really significant milestones this year. I'm in denial that Jasper turns 3 in March, and I'll be 30 (gulp) this summer. Time flies when you're having fun, eh?

For Michael's birthday, we had giant sub sandwiches with all the fixings, double chocolate chunk cookies, and vanilla ice cream, all at the birthday boy's request. My parents came over to celebrate. For his big day, Michael said he wanted to spend quality time with each of our kiddos, so throughout the day he spent a half hour doing something fun with each one. He played the Wii with two of our girls - a dance tournament of sorts that was rather hilarious. He colored in coloring books with another of our girls, and took a long walk with our fourth. With the boys, he played golf on a stretch of land running between two of the houses on campus. My dad went out there with them and then we all took about 15 minutes to gather up all of the golf balls.

We didn't have a huge party with tons of people, we didn't do anything hugely out of the ordinary, and we didn't spend a ton of money, but that's not really Michael's style. He basks in simplicity and loves being with family above all else. So that's what we did, and he had a marvelous day, which was all that mattered to me.

Sometimes I hint at what an amazing man my husband is, but truly, truly...he's amazing. I don't say this to make others stand up and take notice. I don't say it to brag, because it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I don't say it to make others envy or wish they had better marriages or husbands, or whatever. I say it to bring him honor. He works hard at being who he is. Everything he does for our family is intentional, thought out, and purposeful. I am blessed with each day I spend with him as my best friend and partner on this road.

The family out golfing across the street from our house. So fun, and such a Michael idea :).

Now on to my Bennett, our "little blessing," who has turned out to be one of the biggest blessings in my life. This child of mine is so complex, so goofy, so funny and unique, it has taken me a full five years to figure out what I know about him now, and I know that I still don't understand everything that makes him tick. It has taken me a full five years to begin to truly appreciate the beauty of who God has woven him to be. I believe I will spend my entire life trying to figure out my first-born. Bennett marches to the beat of his own drum, and watching him do it is fun and frustrating and wonderfully new every morning. My oldest is full of surprises, convincing arguments, ridiculously mature commentary, and silly antics that make you want to either squeeze him tight or scream out loud, depending on the day and the situation. Lord, I love this boy. He brought my motherly instincts to life. He has taught me to pray for patience and wisdom. I have laughed and cried harder over him than anyone else in my life, I think. Our Bennett James is a beautifully made child, and I burst with pride to be his mommy. Not because he always does what he is supposed to, or because he's always where he should be. Not because he says the right things, looks handsome enough (although he is my little heart-breaker :) ), or goes with the flow, or does things the way I think is best. Nope. It's because God entrusted his little heart, mind and body to me. The Lord made him mine, even while Bennett belongs to Him, and I love my little pal to pieces.

For Bennett's birthday this year, we went to pick up donuts on the morning of his birthday, and later picked up his Cars 2 birthday cake and balloons. We spent the day playing games he enjoyed and hanging out with Mimi (the best way to spend any day, as far as he's concerned). When we asked him what he wanted for his birthday dinner, he told us "QT corn dogs." Classy. We ate dinner and opened presents with just the family. On Saturday morning we had his pajama party at the playscape, and his closest friends all came to make the day extra special. He's pretty proud of being 5 now, and reminds me of his age several times a day :). Here are some pictures from the birthday week:

Mimi got him a giant "snow globe," as he likes to call them. He's a little obsessed with them.

The Birthday Party

Some of my nearest and dearest friends.

And now that I've thoroughly gushed and mushed you out, here is what my Benito is up to at his five year mark:

We've been homeschooling this semester, and so far he has learned to write his first and middle name - we're working on his last name. He is learning to write the capital and lowercase letters of the whole alphabet, and can write his numbers 1-10. Basic phonics books are a breeze for him, and have been from the beginning. I think we're going to have to move onto something a little more complicated for next semester. Counting, basic adding and subtracting, and other math skills such as patterns, sorting, etc., come just about effortlessly to him. He is reading in that he can piece sounds together into words and also use basic context clues to figure out what a book is saying. However, we're starting sight words next semester, so there aren't a whole lot of beginning readers he can tackle yet. I'm thinking this summer he'll really take off with this. Bennett still isn't a fan of coloring with basic crayons or markers, but he loves to do more creative things, like painting, molding clay, cutting and glueing, etc. He also loves listening to all kinds of music, and without fail asks what each and every song we listen to is about. This provides some awesome opportunities to talk about God and subjects surrounding Him when we're listening to the radio or our CDs in the car. He loves playing outside, exploring, and has to be in a perpetual state of motion - the same way he's been since he was a baby. We have decided to put him in Kindergarten at the school where Michael teaches next year, and I know the classroom environment will be hard for him (it always has been), because he pretty much breaks the mold wide open of the still, quiet child, but I also think it will be good for him, and he will learn important lessons about self-control, following through with tasks, and that he will love the social aspect of it all :). At five years old, Bennett's very best friends are David and Taylor, Sage and Joelle, Deacon and Anna, Foy, and of course Jasper John.

RANDOM THINGS

2011-12-22T18:36:00.000-08:00

I really am working on a kajillion blog posts, I promise. It's just that I never have time to finish them! Which bums me out a little, because I really do enjoy blogging thoughts and pictures. But I've hit my limit on daily allotted time, and when there are only so many hours in the day, there's only so much you can do; some things inevitably get put on the back-burner.

Up and coming are posts about Michael's birthday, Bennett's birthday, C's birthday (one of our girls), and my mom's birthday. Michael's was Nov.12th, but the other three have all been in December. Whew! I also need to do a blog post about all of our Christmas activities, including having two of the other cottages over to play games and hang out, and several of the Christmas parties we have been to.

Random things that have happened in the past month: there is a wonderful lady who owns her own cleaning business, and she now comes out once every couple of months to deep clean our home. Fabulous.....Bennett and Jasper have both managed to avoid the doctor so far, up until yesterday, when I took J in for an ear infection. Awesomeness....We are feeling the love and generosity of family and friends this holiday season - it's amazing....I miss my friends. I see a handful of my die-hard friends fairly regularly through church and play dates, but my circle has gotten significantly smaller. That is to be expected with what we are doing here, and Michael and I have made great friends with two of the other house parent couples here, which is so helpful, but I'm missing my friends that I'm just not getting to see hardly at all anymore. There's no real remedy for this, because of the whole "there are only so many hours in a day" thing again, but there it is....Getting Christmas ready for seven kids is nothing short of insanity. Tonight I'm pulling a late-nighter to watch movies and wrap presents. Tomorrow my beautiful, wonderful mother is coming over to help me finish up....We'll do our cottage Christmas on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, since all of our girls will be at their bio homes over the holidays....I am still on a learning curve that never seems to end; I can practically feel my brain synapses tingling :)....I love being here. I love what we are doing. I love watching these girls change and begin to trust before my very eyes. I journal back and forth with a couple of them, and it's amazing what they've been through and how resilient they are....Our boys are doing so well here - they love everything about it. The only exception to this being Bennett telling us the other day that he's still a teeny-tiny bit frustrated that he's not the oldest anymore :)....One example of my learning curve is how much new music I've been introduced to. Most of the girls LOVE listening to music and love having me listen to the stuff they like (all appropriate, of course - they love complaining about how strict we are, and I love nodding and smiling at them while changing nothing :) ). There are some fantastic songs out there that I'd never heard before, and some great artists I've been introduced to. Thanks to iTunes gift cards we've received at our Christmas parties, our iTunes account has exploded. Also awesome....I have found that I actually LOVE hosting now that I have a home that is appropriate in size and equipment to do so. I used to dislike it with a passion, but now it brings me joy. I love having groups, other kids, family, etc. over to play, eat, and hang out. What a blessing to use our home this way. We had all of my extended family over for Thanksgiving Day, and for Christmas, Michael's parents will be here, and then my mom's side of the family will be here on Christmas Day, as well as my parents and brother. Love it....My husband is full of awesome. He is my perfect de-stressor, and is so thoughtful and considerate of what I need at the moment. He keeps me sane :)....I've also gotten back in touch with being a little more of a girly girl again, a by product of now having five teenage daughters, rather than being surrounded by testosterone at all times. One of my girls bought me some perfume the other day when we were at the mall, and I'm enjoying wearing it. We do each other's hair, paint each other's nails, watch girly movies together, etc. Funny enough, that also makes my times playing trains, racing cars, and climbing jungle gyms that much sweeter with my boys....

and I think that's more than enough for now, folks. Still plugging away at the birthday posts, and of course, after that comes the monstrosity that is the Christmas post. Makes me break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

Hope you're all enjoying the holiday season!

LIFE AS I KNOW IT

2011-12-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

I'm having a hard time posting these days because it is hard to describe what goes on in our home from day to day, and what I am experiencing in all aspects of life.

Michael and I are working on tweaking my schedule and figuring out how to minimize my stress levels right now. We go on relief week next week, where all of the girls stay at another cottage for a full week, and that will be helpful in getting some much-needed rest, I think. Usually we are supposed to receive a full week like this every fifth week, but they had to hire a new set of foster parents before that could happen. There is a great couple here now, and the rotation has begun, praise the Lord.

I feel like a chicken with my head cut off almost all of the time, and it is rare that I actually finish a to-do list, which drives me bonkers, but can't really be helped. Having six kids (seven, starting tomorrow - we're getting another new girl) changes things in so many ways, and having four to five of them being yours only temporarily really throws some interesting elements in the mix.

We are working hard to provide a stable, structured, healthy environment for these girls. We have been here for three months now, and those three months have included a lot of tweaking, praying, changing and re-changing things to figure out what works best, a lot of relationship building, a lot of REALLY fun times, and also a lot of time being sick (I've been sick three times since we've been here - once a month on average, and I think it's mostly because I'm worn down and not getting enough sleep) and some time crying out to God for wisdom, and sometimes just crying.

The first month was a honeymoon period, that's for sure. It's just downright hard now, to be honest. But God has called us here, and we know He wants us to make a difference in these girls' lives while we have them. So we will let Him be our strength and give all we've got while we are here.

Bennett and Jasper are still thriving and love it here, which again, is a tremendous blessing that there are no words of thanks to express. They love everything about being here, and are getting to experience so many more things than we would have been able to provide for them otherwise. That's a wonderful feeling. We're pretty sure Bennett will go to the school where Michael teaches starting next year, and we feel wonderful about this. He and his daddy will get to spend a lot of wonderful quality time together on the drive there and back every day.

Homeschooling is still going great. Bennett is reading basic C-V-C words, and is reading very basic readers with help, although the perfectionist in him still gets frustrated when he can't master everything immediately (welcome to my world, pal :) ). Jasper loves school time and always wants to be involved doing his own activities as well.

Recent events have included Michael turning the big 3-0, Halloween festivities, going to the State Fair with Mimi, getting to meet one of the MVP Rangers along with his family, where we decorated sugar cookies and got free Rangers hats, going to the movies, the girls and I having a fabulous movie marathon, roasting more marshmallows in our fire pit, having other cottages over for Game Night and Hide-n-Seek in the dark, and hosting Thanksgiving for my entire family at our house (25 people).

Coming up is Bennett's birthday on Tuesday (he's turning FIVE...gulp), and the kajillion Christmas parties we will be attending (around 3-4 each weekend until Christmas). I'm taking the girls Christmas shopping for their friends tomorrow after school.

Whoo-wee, it's a crazy, busy life here, but we wouldn't have it any other way and don't wish to be anywhere but here, right where God wants us. I'll try to sneak in a picture post of the outdated events I haven't posted about yet (like Michael's big birthday, the fair, etc.).

FAMILY PICTURES

2011-11-20T12:25:00.000-08:00

Leah Minogue Photography came out and took family pictures for us. She did an AMAZING job. Here are a few of my favorites!

ADDING AND TAKING AWAY

2011-11-11T12:14:00.000-08:00

Last week one of our girls left for reasons that break my heart. Today a new girl was added to our house. Emotions are mixed and high - it's an interesting, crazy thing, taking away and adding to a family. This girl is sweet and talented and comes along with a heartbreaking story, pretty much like all the rest. I am thankful she is here with us. I'm glad I get to be her mom, no matter how short or long that time may last. I have not ceased to be amazed by the way God has filled in the gaps we may have been missing in order to do this job. He is so good and so adequate when I am nothing close to either.

I love working here. These children who would not have a home (or at least not one that wasn't abusive or frightening or awfully unstable) if not for this place. God has blessed us to have called

our family here.

Bennett was so excited when he heard we were getting a new girl. He must have asked me a hundred different questions about her before she came this afternoon. And when she got here, I introduced them to each other. There were smiles and high-fives all around. Now she is unpacking in her room - the few precious belongings she owns - and I am sure she is wondering what will happen to her now as she starts a new school, attends a new church, learns new schedules and rules, and tries to fit into a new family. It blows my mind.

I am glad she has come to a good, safe, godly place, even though she may not know it yet. She will know it soon, and my prayer is that she will grow and flourish, even as my prayer for the girl who had to leave is that God will be with her and give her what she needs, and that she takes with her whatever small lessons she learned while she was here.

On a lighter note, we are hosting Thanksgiving Day for my entire extended family (my mom's side and my dad's side) this year, so in the midst of everything, I am slowly gathering table ideas from Pinterest, picking up candles and pinecones, acorns and weathered wood, and other bits and pieces of Thanksgiving goodness, and putting together a menu for what on earth to make (luckily it's a potluck-type affair - I may cook for eight now, but eight to thirty is WAY too big and stressful of a jump for me!).

Anybody have fabulous Thanksgiving plans this year? Who's hosting? What's on the menu and what's the plan for decor?

TEENAGERS

2011-10-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

Things I've learned so far about mothering teenage girls:

1. It is always better to listen and gather information before speaking or acting.

2. Teen girls want to know that a) you care about them, and b) that what they care about matters c) they are respected d) they have a voice.

3. They can eat as much as teen boys when you make their favorites :).

4. When I keep calm, they keep calm.

5. They make life SO. MUCH. FUN.

6. They're boy crazy. I pray and try to direct the boy craziness toward boys who are worthy of it, and who would make good husbands someday.

7. They still like to have milk and cookies when they get home from school :).

8. The roller coaster ride of emotions you've heard comes with raising teen girls? Oh, yes. Every word is true. But the high ups make the low downs completely worth it.

9. They not only need boundaries. They want them (even if they act like the opposite is true).

10. They need their daddies. Big time.

11. They like to talk. A lot.

12. The hormones, growth changes, life changes, etc. of toddlers and teenagers are not that different.

13. If they see you doing something, they are ten times more likely to do it themselves (i.e. exercise, reading your bible, going to church regularly, cleaning up, etc. This also includes negative habits/behaviors).

14. Life is hard for them. It's a rough stage of life.

15. They give excellent fashion and make-up advice.

16. They're oh-so-much fun to giggle and be silly with :).

17. Self-esteem building - also huge.

18. They will play games during conflict if you do, and sometimes they will play games during conflict even if you don't. Either way, I choose not to be a game player, because it gets us nowhere.

19. They respect honesty and kindness and can sense when you do or don't live by those codes.

20. They're not too old to do little kid stuff, like roasting marshmallows, going trick-or-treating, dressing up like adult-sized hot dogs and penguins, getting lots of hugs, watching Disney movies, getting surprise treats or notes, taking goofy pictures, doing art projects, etc.

THREE RING CIRCUS

2011-10-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

I feel like we're living in the midst of our own three ring circus these days, so it was fitting for us to go see an actual one a couple of weeks ago :). I hadn't been in years, and Michael had never been. This was also Bennett and Jasper's first time, as well as one of our girls.

We saw a lot of neato stuff, like tigers jumping through hoops, dudes on the flying trapeze, clowns, an elephant parade, etc. It was also fun that my mom got to come with us and hang out with the girls for a while that night. Here are some pictures of our fun evening!

HOMESCHOOLING

2011-10-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

Amidst the madness, I have also been homeschooling Bennett this year. We just finished up a unit on Creation and also on dinosaurs, and next week we're going to continue learning about Abraham, and start on a Fall theme (my favorite!).

I posted on the curriculum I chose a couple of months back, and so far everything works well. I'll be completely honest and say we haven't touched the spanish curriculum yet, and the arts and crafts leave a little to be desired, but we're all on a gigantic learning curve, and we're having fun, which is important.

Here are some pictures of our year so far:

HARD DAY

2011-10-16T21:08:00.001-07:00

All of you here know by now that I like to keep it real and be honest. So here it is.

Today was hard. I mean hard with a Capital H. I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't looking for it, it didn't start out that way, but that's the way it was, all the same.

It was emotionally grueling and difficult, and it was painful today. This was my first day here to feel things so strongly, to cry for a long time, to experience the difficulty of what we are doing.

But it was also a good, humble reminder of how much I need God to do this job. I need the Lord - His wisdom, His strength, His peace, His love - continuously, daily. I am dependent on Him to give me the words to say to all of my kids, to mold them to be more like Jesus, to discern when to speak and when to listen.

For the most part, this job of being a mom to so many is wonderfully rewarding and fulfilling. But today it was just tough and tiring. I know I'll have many more days like this to come, but I also know there is nowhere else I'd rather be, and nothing else I'd rather be doing, and no one else I'd rather be doing it with. There is comfort and peace in that knowledge.

So I'll go to bed, get some good rest, and get up tomorrow ready with a smile and a prayer for the day and for all of my kids on my lips, because this is where God wants us, and this is where I want to be. Even on the hard days.

FIRST MONTH IN PICTURES

2011-10-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

Our first month here was amazing. We are blessed. Here are some pictures that cover some of the things we've been up to.

After one week of living here, they had a work day where hundreds of volunteers came to help clean up our campus and make it beautiful and sparkling. I was especially thankful since there was a lot of cleaning and organizing to do on the inside of our home!

There was a crew working in the front and back yards as well, adding mulch, planting new plants, pulling weeds, etc. The yard initially needed a LOT of work, so this was really helpful as well.

This is about half of our front yard. Now that the weather is cooler, we are out here almost everyday. The boys LOVE having a huge yard. They love their new rooms, their new home, their new sisters. We play hard pretty much every day. I love seeing them love it here.

Our second week of having the girls, the teen boys cottage pranked us by ringing our doorbell and running. We retaliated by sending fliers with ridiculous/scary photos like the ones below, shining flashlights in the windows when it got dark, and depositing a large plastic Santa Clause in their front yard. We also ordered pizza, then emptied the boxes and stuck a note inside. The delivery guy was kind and fun enough to deliver it to them :). To top it all off, the last night of the prank war, we all hauled our lawn chairs across campus to their back yard and serenaded them with our fabulous rendition of "Kumbaya." When they heard us, they came out back and found us camped out, singing and looking at the stars. So fun!

Don't have pictures of it, but some of our activities this week included clothes shopping for the girls, playing Hide and Seek in the dark, finishing up decorating the house, going horseback riding, playing Just Dance on the Wii, playing board games, playing sand volleyball, opening our house to the public for our annual Open House, having family meetings every week, going on family library trips, homeschooling Bennett (for three weeks now - have some things to tweak, but so far so good), painting, having movie marathons, going to Saturday night church and then eating out as a family each week, going to the girls' high school Open House and meeting two of their teachers each (I got some strange looks, that's for sure :) ). Our kids definitely keep us busy and active!

And an update on me: I am learning to fill out paperwork quickly and efficiently. I am learning to cook very large meals that include several sides. I am learning how to listen to teenage girls, because that's what they want more than anything - to know you care and that they have a listening ear. I am learning to pick my battles wisely and let the rest go. I am learning how to balance. I am learning how to hold on to what is truly important and necessary, and let go of the rest when I run out of time. I am learning to be a mother to girls who have been searching for one their whole lives. I am learning how to make a new house a home. I am learning how to homeschool and do everything else I have on my plate all at the same time (slowly). I am learning to give my boys extra hugs and kisses, to hold onto them a little longer, to look them in the eye when I am speaking to them, or when they are telling me something. I am learning that consistency and dependability are just as important to teenagers as they are to toddlers :). I am learning that reading my bible every morning takes me so much farther and grants me more wisdom for the day than anything else ever could. I am learning how to drive a 15-passenger van quite well, if I do say so myself :). I am learning how to ask for help and how to accept it. I am learning how to stay connected to my husband and keep our relationship healthy and whole in the midst of all of the craziness that comes with having six kids. I am learning how very much I love having a big family and doing what we are doing.

We are blessed.

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE

2011-09-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

That's the song I feel like singing every time I look out a window or pull into the place we live now. There are trees and rolling meadowy-type stuff, and 5-6 different playgrounds for the boys to play on. There are horses and cows and goats. There are a couple of ponds and woods with trails to explore. It's amazing. I never knew how much I wanted to live in wide open spaces (key the Dixie Chicks song) until we got here. Now I don't know how I'll ever go back!

We L-O-V-E it here, if you can't tell. And what I mentioned above really isn't the biggest draw. It's the kids. Our four girls are amazing, courageous young women, and we are so blessed to be a family with them now. I have lost track of how many times God has clearly, obviously shown up and sewn our now-large family together. Three of the girls call me mom, and I have had deep, really wonderful conversations with all of them. They are funny, silly, smart, talented girls, and I love being their mama.

Some of the high points of our two weeks with them so far: a mini prank war with the teen boys cottage, which consisted of us depositing a large, headless Santa Claus in their front yard, and on another night, carrying lawn chairs to their backyard to serenade them with our personal rendition of "Kumbaya." (They started it by ringing our doorbell and running last week). Another high point: our family meetings - we have them once a week, and we share about our week, talk about anything that needs to be addressed, and talk about what we're thankful for and what we're stressed about. I provide a yummy dessert - everyone is a fan. We have also sat out on our back deck in our rocking porch chairs all together a couple of different times in the cooler night air and just chatted. One time, one of the guys who works here rode past in a golf cart and said, "If you guys here a gun shot, that's just me shooting at skunks." HA! Dinner is also pretty awesome - we talk and laugh and fellowship, and afterwards we turn on some music, crank it up, and the entire family does chores for about 30 minutes. This past Sunday me and the girls laid around and watched movies (we go to church on Saturday night) in the afternoon while the boys took naps, and that was so restful and fun. A final warm fuzzy for me is watching our boys and our girls interact. They really do love each other already. They play together, and the girls are SO helpful - buckling and unbuckling the boys from the van, chasing them around, taking them outside, building train tracks together, watching them in stores, etc. Like I said, warm fuzzies :).

Every night Michael and I go to our room to talk and catch up about the day, and pretty much every night we talk about how blessed we are to be here, and how amazing this is. God's hand of blessing is on this place. We are privileged to be a part of the work here.

I'm writing about all of the wonderful things. Of course there are hard things, too. There are more emotions to handle, more wisdom to plead for so that God can give me the right words to say, almost NO free time (I think this will get better once we are really, truly settled in and we're no longer doing so many first time things that come with moving in and joining a family together), lots of paperwork, more errands to run, kids to pick up from school (carpooling has been a HUGE help), new schedules, having to be more intentional to spend time with B and J, and knowing that even then, there is only so much of me to go around (I pray for God to give them all that they need, and for Him to fill in the gaps that I may miss while doing this - I know He will), etc. So yes, there are hard things, frustrating things, sad things, etc., but they just don't begin to compare to the beauty of being right where God wants us to be.

Our Open House is this weekend from 9:00am - 2:00pm. Feel free to stop by - the campus and all of the houses are open to whoever, and Spring Creek is catering lunch for everyone! Thank you all for your prayers and love for us! I'll keep updating as much as I am able!

HOME

2011-09-05T18:39:00.001-07:00

We have had so many wonderful people come out to help us make our new house feel like a home, and it really does, in only a few short days.

On move in day, we had seven guys and four ladies come out to help pack, unpack, organize, clean, store, and move things around. Amazing. It all went SO quickly because we had so much help. Most of the people are friends or neighbors of ours from our class at church, but three of them were a family I used to baby sit for back when I was in middle school! Crazy and so wonderful the way things come full circle. The same family came back out to the house today to mow our lawn, weed eat, edge our grass, sweep up, and empty out some plant pots to get ready for fall. This was a HUGE blessing because our lawn now consists of about an acre of land, and will probably take Michael 2-3 hours to do each time. It was pretty overgrown, so it took three people that long to do it this time. We are SO thankful for all of these people who have been the hands and feet of Jesus to us this weekend - so generous with their time and energy.

Being here is amazing. I can't describe it. Michael and I were talking about it today, and the best comparison I can make is when you go shoe shopping and you try on a dozen different pairs of uncomfortable shoes that pinch and rub and don't fit right, then you finally find the pair that hug and cradle your foot just right, that look fabulous, and feel fabulous, and belong to you the moment you try them on. That's how being here is. We are exactly where we are supposed to be.

Our boys and the girls get along SO well, and Bennett misses them and talks about them when they are gone. Even Jasper talks about them, and lights up when he sees them. I have bonded really well with the girls so far, and am excited about what is to come.

We go on walks in the evenings. We're on a working ranch with horses, pigs, goats and cows, and there are 5-6 different playgrounds spread throughout the campus. This makes for an amazing daily adventure for our boys. We are already in love with where we are, and our hearts are overflowing.

I look back at where I was just two months ago, and how I was feeling, and I am amazed at how faithful the Lord is, and how He brings us out of dry seasons and renews our spirits just when we need Him to. His timing really is perfect, and in the meantime, His grace really is sufficient.

When I get a minute to breathe, I'll post some pictures of our new place.

FIVE DAYS

2011-08-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

Man, oh man, we only have FIVE DAYS before moving out to our new house at the children's home we will be living at. This past week has consisted of TONS of phone calls, appointments, meetings, visits, etc., to get things more squared away. And of course, a LOT of packing.

This is Michael and I's first time to move in seven years, and we're living our first and only home, so it's bittersweet. This is also our first time to move with kiddos, which creates an ENTIRELY different dynamic. I'll go ahead and admit that our boys have been watching a LOT more TV for the past week and will continue to do so this week as we're getting ready for the move and just trying to get everything checked off of our lists.

Our house is going on the market in two weeks - by then we should have all of the updates we wanted to do, completed. That will be a big relief, and of course an even bigger relief once it sells.

Michael and I begin training this week and will spend two full days getting stuffed with information about the children's home regulations, as well as regulations of the state, basic FAQs, and CPR training. It will be nice to have that info and the rules under my belt - I'm a rule follower, so I actually like knowing what's expected of me :).

Michael gave me a budget to set up our new home, and yesterday me and my mom went shopping for my birthday to pick up a few things, among them being some FABULOUS fabric for pillows that she (I would say both of us, but I'd be lying) is going to make for our formal living room and the living room the girls mostly hang out in, which I refer to as "The Cave" because they always have the lights turned off in there (I picked up a GORGEOUS lamp from Hobby Lobby last week to help with this :) ). I also scouted out some curtains from World Market that I'm going back to buy at the end of this week when they're shipped in. I've posted a picture of them below because they are just. that. awesome. They're for our kitchen/dining area.

I'm having fun thinking of new ways to create a homey environment for all eight of us, and it's so much fun to have a fresh start and blank page as far as decorating goes, but I have to admit that sometimes that's not enough to distract me from what is ahead.

The truth is, I'm nervous and excited and scared all at the same time, and depending on the time of day and what I'm in the middle of, these emotions take turns presenting themselves. I'm swept up in all kinds of thoughts and feelings about this change, and am realizing more and more what a HUGE life change this really is.

*Whew. Deep Breath.*

The comfort and solace I have when I start to feel a little bit crazy for taking all of this on is solely and completely in the knowledge that when God calls, God equips. I believe this with all my heart. When I rely and trust in Him, He will give me the strength, the endurance, the wisdom, the ability to do this. This is where God wants us, and knowing where He wants us and what He wants us to do is something our family has been waiting on for over a year. It is so sweet, so good when you can see God's plan stretching out in front of you.

Something else that is so sweet and precious about this move is how excited Bennett is about everything. He loves his new "sisters," he loves our new house, he is excited about the playgrounds, his new room, the backyard, etc. etc. He calls this his "Big Adventure" and we have a count down chart hanging on the refrigerator that he asks me to mark off every morning when he wakes up. He counts the days and pumps his fists and hollers out the number left until "OUR BIG ADVENTURE!!" This is from God, without a doubt, because he is my emotional, sensitive child, and I was more concerned about him in all of this than anyone else. And as it turns out, he's great with it. Thank you, Lord! (Jasper is excited and really likes the girls, too, but is more easy-going and is too young to really understand it all until it happens).

I turn twenty-nine tomorrow, and I can't think of any better birthday present than to be entrusted with the hearts of God's children, and to have the opportunity to embark on the brand new "Big Adventure" we have been praying for. :)

And just so you know, I probably won't get caught up on my other blog topics I was supposed to post about - there are just too many new things going on right now, and there's too much to cover with all that's happening, but I'll keep updating.

THE ADVENTURES OF B AND J

2011-08-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

This summer we...

**learned how to swim

(need to get a picture of it!!)

Bennett took swimming lessons from Poppy (my dad) all summer, and he's doing AWESOME! He can swim the ENTIRE length of the pool (from the deep end to the shallow end) with his head underwater, coming up for air when he needs it. He can jump off the side in the deep end and swim to the other side, and then pull himself out. He can float on his back. He can dive underwater and pick up cars from the bottom (at the shallow end). THANKS, Poppy!! You're the best swim teacher EVER!

**began wearing our hand-sewn spiderman-ish glove to prevent finger sucking (more on that in a future post, put it was created by Nanna. She's a genius, I tell you!)

**went to the water park twice a week

This was our last week and me and my mom bit the bullet and got the boys their Dippin' Dots ice cream (which we think is disgusting and ridiculously priced, but the boys love and have looked forward to all summer).

**learned to play (and made up) a LOT of new games

In this game, they're playing "Baby" and they go to sleep (usually in Jasper's crib), and then wake up crying. I tickle them and pounce on them until they go back to sleep - not that it makes any sense, but they love it. Other favorites of the summer were Alligator Snap and Leap Frog, both played on our couch cushions on the living room floor. Fun times.

Bennett's new thing, playing board games. We've taught him how to play Cootie, Connect Four, Go Fish, Chutes and Ladders, Trouble, and Yahtzee Jr., and I must say that my little man has learned REALLY well how to be a good sport! I'm so proud of him. When he loses, he says, aw, well, that's okay. I'm glad we played. And when he wins (after a lot of hooting and fist pumping), he turns to the loser and says, That's okay. You played good! So cute.

**had Nanna over for a visit, which was wonderful, as always!

**visited the pet store for the first time ever (don't ask me how we managed to avoid that for so long - the boys LOVED it. Bennett even got it in his head for a while that he was going to save up his money for a mouse, but decided to use it for candy instead, which made my heart very glad :) )

**went to birthday parties and play dates with friends.

**watched some Saturday morning cartoons

**visited Great Grandpa and Granny (and ate M&Ms, of course)

**went to the eye doctor, where Jasper passed all of the tests for his vision and eye muscles! Praise God!

(he was EXHAUSTED after the appointment and fell asleep on the way home, which NEVER happens)

We had a great summer packed with all kinds of fun. The boys are at such a terrific age for going out and about, exploring and trying new things! :)

READ ALL ABOUT IT

2011-08-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

More info for you:

1. Our official move in date is September 3rd...2 1/2 weeks away. Dude.

2. We told the boys this past weekend. Jasper doesn't understand at all, and Bennett is having a hard time grasping it since he has never moved before. He keeps asking if we're moving tomorrow :). They met the girls yesterday and that went well all around. Bennett is excited about all of the cool things to do there, but his main concern is that he won't be the oldest anymore. That will have to play out when we settle in, I think.

3. I had to get a new SS card today because my wallet was stolen years ago (before Bennett was born), and I was one of those smarties who kept her card in her wallet (don't EVER do that!!). I am just now replacing it, and now I know why I procrastinated so long. The drive was a beast, getting lost in downtown was a beast, walking half a mile with the boys was a beast, and sitting in pleather chairs waiting for our number to be called was a beast. The boys were sweet and patient about it (thank you, Lord!) so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it sure wasn't fun.

4. Michael started back to school today. Crazy. Me and my mom are taking the boys to the water park for the last time on Thursday, which feels really weird since summer is pretty much over for our family. Everything is wrapping up. On the subject of school, I have decided to wait to start school with Bennett until after we move and the girls move in, too. We'll start school at home that following Monday, I think (or as soon as I get his school stuff unpacked and organized :) ).

5. I know I have a kajillion blog posts left to do from my list, but I'm not sure how many more I'll get to. Trying to get your house ready to be put on the market is not for the faint of heart (much like painting one's kitchen cabinets, which one will no longer be enjoying). Hope the next people who live here appreciate the blood, sweat and tears I poured into those babies!

6. It's amazing how a new mission and a fresh perspective on what's important in life can really rev up your spiritual mojo. I am so thankful for the way God has refreshed me and given me peace and strength for this upcoming transition.

7. The girls (soon to be our girls - crazy!) start school next Monday, and will have to live in a temporary house on campus while their old house mom moves out and we move in (three weeks total). Terrible time to not have a stable support system. Please pray for them if you think of them. Please pray for Bennett and Jasper and their transition, as well. All four of us are going to the house for dinner tomorrow night to pray over the girls and their school year, and then again Sunday night to give them hugs and show our support for their first day of school the following day.

8. If I am not calling you or getting back to you in a decent, socially acceptable time frame, please forgive me and extend some grace for a few weeks. I can't remember a time my brain has ever been so flooded with information, to do's, how to's, appointments, etc. Whew!

BIG NEWS (HUGE, ACTUALLY)

2011-08-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

I'm skipping ahead by like six posts, because I can't hardly stand keeping the news to myself. Before I tell you, let me put out a disclaimer by saying there is no way I can adequately explain/express everything that has suddenly transpired and changed in our family.

Seriously. No way.

So I might make this a couple of posts long, and you're welcome as always to call or email or whatever to ask more questions or chit chat with me about it. So here it is:

*Michael and I have accepted the offer to become house parents for a "cottage" of teenage girls at a nearby children's home.

*We start the beginning of September.

*This means we are putting our house on the market, packing, and moving, all in the next 3-4 weeks.

*This change has taken place in nine days (they called us to request an interview on August 2nd).

Now, you may think we are a little bit crazy, and you may be right, but my mama always said a little bitta crazy never did nobody no harm (okay, she's never really said that, and certainly not with such horrible grammar, but I still think it's true).

Here's how things unfolded, as best I can explain it through typed words:

*We have a passion for raising and loving kids, and a passion for mission work - these two passions combine into something pretty awesome in this specific job description.

*We applied to be house parents a year ago, and they didn't need anyone then, so we assumed that was a closed door.

*We have been waiting and praying, and waiting and praying for over a year for God's plan for our next phase of life. This opportunity was dropped in our laps with a big fat bow tied around it, right after some recently difficult and confusing events, and the more we have talked and prayed about it, the more we have realized the timing and situation and house we will be in just couldn't be any more perfect for our family.

*We went in to interview, then toured the house we'll be living in and met the girls all in the same day, and I instantly felt peace about it, like this is just what we should be doing (Michael is ECSTATIC about the whole thing - I was the one with reservations and concerns at first when we got the phone call).

*I have been emailing back and forth with the current house mom since then, asking lots of questions, gathering information, etc.

*Tonight I went back to the house and had dinner with the girls and the house mom, and then me and the current house mom spent two hours talking about things, asking and answering questions, etc. VERY exciting, went SO well.

*We officially accepted the job today and will begin training in a couple of weeks.

Here is a breakdown of more factual info about the children's home, where we'll live, etc.:

*The place we are going is a children's home, but it is not operated by the state and not at all affiliated with CPS or anything like that. The children who are there choose to be there, and their parents/guardians choose for them to be there. A group of us all meet and decide about each individual child entering the home.

*Bennett and Jasper are safe and we believe will actually grow and mature spiritually because of this opportunity. This was my number one concern, and all of my questions about this have been answered without fail.

*We will be living in a beautiful seven bedroom home on a campus with land, horses, a pool, sand volleyball court, multiple playgrounds, computer lab, gymnasiums, etc. It's pretty amazing and the boys will be pumped about it.

*Our home is about 15 minutes further down the road from where we live right now, so we're still close to everything and in the same area (thank you, God!).

*The girls already attend the same church we attend, so that will not change at all.

*I have to quit praise team for now (or at least only sub), which is hard, but it's a sacrifice that is needed to minister in this new way.

The long and short of it is, God has called us to do this and we have answered the call. It feels so good to finally know what we're doing and where God wants us after crying out to Him and trying so hard to be patient for what has felt like a very long time (even though it hasn't really been that long). We are thrilled by this opportunity.

Please pray for us over the next few weeks as we prepare the boys, put our house on the market, sell it, pack, move, and get ready to love on these girls!

NUMERO OCHO

2011-08-09T17:14:00.001-07:00

Michael and I have been married eight years today. Praise God!! We haven't done any "crazy eight" things yet - we're reserving all of that for this weekend when my parents take the kiddos and we paint the town :). I'll blog about that later.

For now I'll just say that I am one lucky woman. We got married when I was twenty and Michael was twenty-one, and I can say in all honesty I had NO idea what I was doing back then. I recognized all of the wonderful, strong, godly qualities Michael possesses, yes, but we both had a lot of baggage, and the Lord guided and protected both Michael and I, and has brought us to where we are today - all glory and honor to Him!

Michael is a Christ-follower, a hard worker, an AMAZING father...the list goes on and on, and I'm the lucky gal who got him :). Our passions and callings in life are SO similar, which is also a tremendous blessing. Walking along this life, which is sometimes so uncertain, with Michael is what I hoped for in a marriage. I'll leave you with a few "oldies but goodies," some pictures from our wedding day, August 9, 2003.

KITCHEN CABINETS

2011-08-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

This was the biggest, fattest, hairiest BFHP to date...BY FAR.

I'll start by breaking the experience down into stats so that the recent memory doesn't overwhelm me/make me hyperventilate :).

1. We used Kilz 2 primer, and for the color of the cabinets we used Behr's Swiss Coffee in eggshell (both from Home Depot).

2. I used a nice brush for small areas and trim, and a foam roller for the larger surfaces. I had aspirations for using a professional paint sprayer (my dad owns one), that quickly turned disastrous (more on that later).

3. It took two weeks of leisurely paced cleaning, scrubbing and sanding before I put one drop of paint on the wood (used a liquid sander, which seemed to work fine).

4. The entire paint process took twelve days, with one day taken off in between. I'd estimate it took about 35 hours of work total, including Michael working with me for about five of those hours.

5. It took three coats of paint to completely cover the cabinets (I alternated doing two coats primer, one coat paint, and one coat primer, two coats paint, depending on my mood and where I was at in the project; regardless, it took three coats).

I think that about covers the facts. Now onto the emotional aspect of the project :).

Do I recommend doing this? No. I do not. Do I L-O-V-E the results? Absolutely yes. Did I know what I was getting myself into? Kind of.

Here's the thing you have to know about me. I'm an "expectations" kind of gal (as my husband and mom will tell you without hesitation). This means I go into something imagining and planning how it will go. I don't necessarily have "high" or "low" expectations, just a firm idea on how something will work out. And when that idea explodes in my face (or splatters paint all over my garage floor, my cabinets and my feet), it's a bitter pill to swallow :).

Painting our kitchen cabinets started out innocently and easily enough, but about half-way through, I nearly had a panic attack (not really, but it was pretty crazy for a couple of days at our house). The truth is, I misjudged the project.

I assumed the most difficult, stressful part of the project would be painting the built in parts of the wood. Dead wrong. Priming it all took about 15-18 hours over the course of four days, but I took it slow, listened to nice music, and had some help from Michael (thanks, Honey!! His first time ever to paint with me!). I actually enjoy painting, so this predictable part went as expected and wasn't bad at all. Because of this, the next part of the BFHP caught me off guard completely. Using the paint sprayer was the death of my optimism and enjoyment in the project.

It took a few days to get the sprayer working right, and because the cabinets were already off and lying on the ground in the garage, every time we opened or closed the garage door, dirt, dust, leaves, etc. got all over them and they had to be wiped down all over again. Lovely.

I got the paint sprayer working, got everything set up, listened to and watched tutorials online several times, and plunged in....and ran out of paint about two minutes into spraying. When this happened, I had only 6-7 cabinet doors out of 27 actually sprayed, and the nozzle began splattering uneven blobs of paint all over several of the remaining cabinets. Keep in mind this is in the middle of the day (during the boys' naps), in our hot garage with the door closed, in this INSANE 105-110 degree weather we're having right now. I was hot, only a fourth of my cabinets were sprayed, I was out of paint, and 3-4 of the cabinets would be ruined if I didn't wipe the globs off IMMEDIATELY. Of course Bennett and Jasper decided at that moment to both wake up from their naps. Because that's how we roll here in Crazy Town.

I couldn't think straight because of the heat and my panic, so I called my mom and explained the situation. At first I decided to go buy more paint and continue using the sprayer (after cleaning up the disastrous mess on the cabinets, garage floor and my feet), but we really didn't have that in the budget, and for all I knew, the sprayer would just gobble up all the paint again before I got anywhere near finished. So I stayed home, asked my mom to come over and help me with the boys while I cleaned out the paint sprayer (that could be a whole other post - cleaning one of those bad boys is a nightmare - it literally took me 2 hours to get all the parts cleaned out) and finished priming the remaining cabinets.

So that was the insane part of the project. From there, things mostly smoothed out. Because of the splatters, I found I had to sand down parts of a few of the cabinets again, which was annoying, but for the most part, the next four days were spent hand painting and rolling doors one at a time on top of a heavy duty tarp in our living room.

I also spray painted our hinges oil rubbed bronze, and those turned out pretty well and was super easy to do (I used Krylon's oil rubbed bronze and found it at Ace Hardware).

After painting, Michael helped me reassemble the cabinets back in their proper places (I made a diagram and numbered the cabinets with stickers ahead of time, which I HIGHLY recommend doing!). And now we have a beautiful, light and airy kitchen. If it's possible to be in love with your kitchen cabinets, I'm definitely in love with mine (though it was more of a love-hate relationship until I finally finished).

I actually planned on this being a two-phase project. The second phase was supposed to include oil-rubbed bronze hardware and a calmer shade of green for the walls, which looks FABULOUS in my head, but due to reasons that will be written about in my upcoming "BIG News" blog, phase two won't be happening (And no, I'm not pregnant. In some ways it's even bigger news than that, if you can believe it!).

Before

During

After

(My little fella snuck his way into this one :).)

Tips if you decide to do this yourself:

1. Do. not. use. a paint sprayer. It really won't save you time or money, unless you're one of those professional, expert paint sprayer people.

2. Invest in a really nice paint brush, and use a four inch foam roller for the larger areas to make the finished surface look smooth.

3. Sand and clean your cabinets before you paint so that the paint will adhere to the wood.

4. Have help. The more people, the faster it goes.

5. Take your time and look for drips and mess-ups as you go so they don't dry that way (I actually did pretty well with this - Michael rolled and I followed behind cleaning up drips with the brush).

6. Surrender yourself to the necessity of doing three coats.

7.Make a diagram of your cabinets, numbering them, so you know where each one lines up perfectly when you're ready to re-hang them.

8. When reattaching the cabinets, attach the hinges to the built-ins first, then attach the cabinets to the hinges.

And finally, a big fat THANKS!!!! goes to Michael for helping me paint, even though he loathes and despises it, and to my mom, who really helped me out of a big scrape that would have gotten even bigger without her help.

A FAN OR A FOLLOWER

2011-08-05T06:28:00.000-07:00

I almost always leave our church on Sunday mornings amazed and grateful by the message our preacher has brought to the pulpit. He truly is gifted from the Lord with the ability to bring the Word to life and get to the heart of things in scripture.

Last week in particular really spoke to me. He started a new series, and the first week was about being a fan or a follower of Christ. It's SO easy to kick back and cheer for Jesus, but not really get involved, get our feet wet, get our hands dirty. It's so easy for me to forget what I'm doing here when I get busy and caught up in life. It seems like the first things to go are my spiritual disciplines. I do struggle with slipping into fan-dom, and having this reminder was needed.

I want to be a follower of Christ, not just a fan looking on from the sidelines. I want to be active and involved. I want to be faithful and keep on running the race! Lots of cliches here, I know. That's why I'm not the preacher at our church :). I'm not communicating this nearly as well as he did, but essentially it was a good wake up call for me. That this world is not my home and I'm not here just to take up space or be a good (or even excellent) cheerleader. We were made for more than that.

PROOF POSITIVE

2011-08-01T19:58:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I'll do my thoughts and my heart justice in this post, but I'll do my very best.

Last week a friend and I met and found ourselves in eerily similar places in life, though our specific circumstances differ greatly. We talked for hours, updating each other on things, sharing our heartaches and hurts, and also encouraging one another as best we could while still feeling a bit broken down personally. Sharing the intimate, heartfelt details of one's life with another, knowing they will accept, understand, and empathize, is wonderful all in itself, but as we talked, an amazing thing began to happen.

We talked about how God seemed far away, and how it's hard to feel Him sometimes, and that even being raised in the church and filled up with the knowledge of scripture doesn't always make things easier. It just means we know the truth - which can never be underestimated, of course. We talked about how we didn't understand what God was doing or why He sometimes chooses to be silent, especially in times when we think He should be shaking things up a bit!

The amazing thing was, we both realized that God has orchestrated perfectly the timing and closeness of our friendship, for such a time as this. Both of us were amazed to find the other using words that exactly described what we'd been feeling. We thought each of us was alone and lonely in our current place, but God showed us while questioning and wondering where on earth He has been, that He is here, and cares so much about both of us, that He gave us friendship and time together to realize we're not alone, and that God's hand is still active, powerful, encouraging, and loving. He is still involved, He is still present, He is still moving. Not that my friend and I did not know this. We did. We do. But it's mind-blowing to have it illustrated in such an obvious, tangible, ironic way, right before your very eyes! It made me feel so cared for, so loved, so sought after - something I really needed.

So thank you, my sweet friend. You know who you are and how much I appreciate you! And thanks be to God, whose faithfulness and love are unmatched and unconditional.

COMING UP

2011-07-31T13:41:00.000-07:00

Coming up next:

1. Proof positive that God is active and present.

2. A Fan or a Follower.

3. Kitchen Cabinets (with pictures).

4. The Adventures of B and J.

5. New Master Bath Shower (with pictures).

6. Bennett's True Love.

7. An Apple a Day.

8. Secret Santa.

9. BIG News.

THANK YOU'S AND CABINETS

2011-07-23T12:53:00.001-07:00

Thank you, my dear sweet friends. To those of you who have written, called, and reached out, and to those of you who have done silent, quiet things in the background, like lifting my name up before the Father without me even knowing. Thank you. I have felt loved and encouraged this week, and it means a great deal. Words are powerful, and the words and time you have shared to help me out a bit this week have been so well-timed and full of grace and love. Blessings on you and on your families for being the hands and feet of Jesus to silly, emo me :).

I have felt spurred on and encouraged to really get back in the Word and talk to God about the things going on in my life, and although there is still so much silence and uncertainty, and I'm still having a hard time, my heart is feeling lighter just knowing there are people like you He has placed in my life, just because He loves me. God uses His people to take care of each other, and I have been the grateful recipient this time.

On a little bit lighter note that is definitely needed/wanted, I am finally doing it. You know. It. The dreaded, long-awaited, much-anticipated, scary, hairy, BFHP (Big Fat Hairy Project).

The Kitchen Cabinets.

I'm so sceered! But it must be done, and I need a distraction. I have the primer, the paint, the paint sprayer, the foam rollers, the super nice paint brush that will help coats go on better (hopefully, fingers crossed!), the cabinets have been cleaned like crazy with Goo Gone, and this weekend I am sanding them. EEK! We shall see, we shall see. I'm going to take "before" pictures today, so I can be sure to post before and afters when I'm all done. But don't count on that happening for at least two weeks (maybe three or four - this is going to be a BEAST!).

And it must be said, I must be some kinda crazy, because Michael and my dad are currently involved in the FIFTH Saturday of redoing our master bathroom shower (poor guys!). So we're about to have TWO BFHP's going on at the same time (because it's going to be at least another two weeks before they're done - thanks Dad, thanks Honey, you guys are A-MAZING). Yikes.

Peace and Blessings and Love to you all,

HIT HARD

2011-07-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

I'm having my doubts that anyone actually reads this blog anymore, which is okay since I write it mostly for me and my kiddos, and for family, but for anyone still hanging around who has been around for a while, you know I like to tell it like it is. And I have to say - like it is? Well, it's rough right now. That's probably why I've been so quiet on the blog-front lately. How do you say stuff like this without being a Debbie Downer, or feeling faithless? It's taken me some time to get up the guts to write this post, but maybe writing it will let someone else out there know they're not alone either.

You know when everything just feels flipped upside-down in life, like nothing is what it's supposed to be? Or when you feel like you're invisible, or just not all that significant? Or when things just are not going the way you planned or thought they would? It's a tough, humbling way to feel, and I've been in a rut where everything just feels off for several weeks now. It's pretty normal for me to feel this way for a day or two every few months, but this...this is kicking my tail. I just can't seem to shake it. And to go for broke and be completely honest, I just haven't been in the Word like I need to be. So I don't have the peace and the reminders that usually bring so much strength. I feel like God is silent right now, like I can't reach Him, and that's hard, too. So I'm wandering aimlessly, arms stretched out, reaching for something to hold onto, and I'm just having a hard time finding my anchor, you know?

I'm well aware this isn't happy, bubbly blog material, but it's the honest truth, and as I've always tried to be transparent about who I am, how I'm doing, and what I'm up to, I'll try to do it again today.

I haven't been myself lately - I've been in quite a funk, actually. A No Fun Funk. It really stinks when you find out that life really isn't fair, doesn't it? It stinks when friends aren't the friends you thought they were. It stinks when you discover you've become a disappointment to someone else yourself. It stinks when plans fall apart, when the poop hits the fan, when you feel like you have no control over your life, when more stuff happens to you than you feel you have the emotional stores to handle, when you feel like nobody cares, when it feels like your prayers are ricocheting off the ceiling...man, it's tough.

But even in this, and even though God seems far away from me right now, I know that's not really true. He loves me too much to let go of me. My name is written on His hand, and He has walked a mile in my shoes. His Word and His Spirit are gifts to remind me I am never alone, and I'm never unloved. So even in times like these, I will still say Blessed be the name of the Lord, because He is good and right and true. He is faithful and good and genuine. He never fails, He always prevails, and He is in it to win it, right here with me. And I will say thank you, God, for being my Rock, especially when I really, really need one, like now.

When I come out of this funk of all funks, I will be able to look back on this and say, "Yes, God brought me out of that, just like He brought me out of all the things before it. And when I feel the funkiness come around again, I can trust and know that He will bring me out of it again, over and over and over again, because that's who God is, and that's what He does." Praise Him.

FOUR MAN BAND

2011-07-17T19:37:00.001-07:00

(Alternate Heading: "What Happens When Your Mother-in-Law Comes to Town")

Michael started this insanity a couple of days ago when he started "playing" Bennett like a guitar. Tonight, the infectious nature of Nanna's laughter (she's here for a week long visit) inspired us to expand Michael's musicality into a four man band. If you can't tell exactly what's happening, Michael and I are taking turns picking different instruments and "playing" the boys :). Good times, good times.

HAPPY SUMMER

2011-07-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

Can't really provide a "Happy 4th" slew of pictures because I was home with my poor Jasper John, who is in the midst of his third day of a nasty stomach bug. Michael and Bennett went on to my parents' house for the cook out/swimming fun with the rest of my extended family, but me and my little red head hung out at home and took it easy so no one else would catch the yuckiness. In leu of July 4th pictures, I'll post some random ones from what we've been up to over the past 2-3 months. Happy Summer!

B in time out, J trying to be like his big brother :)

Shimmy Shake. Nope, we haven't outgrown it yet.

Found this treasure on a curb for FREE = one happy two year old.

Rub a dub dub, two little stinkers in their tubs.

Jasper trying to sneak out of his doctor check-up. If Bennett had realized what was coming, he would have run away, too. Poor guy had his four year old check-up with FOUR shots. Ick.

Headed to the water park with my fellas.

My two favorite red heads. LOOOVE this picture.

(alternate caption: Michael and his Mini Me)

Me and my Benito. My mom took this picture because our profiles are the same :).

This boy LOVES him some choo-choos.

(at our children's museum)

MONSTER HOMESCHOOLING POST

2011-06-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Here's a sneak peek (see below) at what Bennett and I will be doing this year for Pre-K. I've gotten in all our supplies except for the arts & crafts book (which I'm REALLY excited about!), and that should get here sometime this week. I've compiled our specific materials using the research I've done, reading a couple of different books on homeschooling (especially The Well Trained Mind, which I highly recommend if you're considering homeschooling at all), from one of my good friends, Kristen, who home schools her children and is rock star awesome at it, and from the homeschooling convention I attended back in May (with Kristen as my guide). I've also included some pictures of the workbooks and supplies we'll be using.

(**Note: I am not sure how long we will homeschool and do not know if this is a permanent thing or not. For now, it is what's best for our family, and what works for us. Michael is SUPER excited I'm doing it this year, and we're both going to wait and see how it goes and what the future holds before making more of a commitment to it. I figure Pre-K is a great place to start and get our feet wet :) )

Our Phonics, Math and Fine Motor books.

Spanish and a little handwriting (already had from this year).

I bought the trays (under the handwriting cards) because of

an AWESOME idea Bennett's teacher had from last year.

She placed separate centers on each tray, like play doh,

math manipulatives, cutting crafts, etc., and it kept things

less messy and in their proper place. BRILLIANT!!

I converted our coat closet to a school/activities closet last year,

so all of that is ready to go, thankfully, although I need to do

some straightening and a little reorganizing for the coming year.

The mesh magazine rack I purchased from Amazon

to hold all of our school books. Perfect! :)

Several things are not included above that I also want to mention:

1) Bible Curriculum - we'll do a weekly bible story. On Mondays, we'll read the story fresh and talk about it. Tuesday, we'll review it and also work on habits/character building from Charlotte Mason's book, "Laying Down the Rails" (A-MAAAAZING book!), on Wednesday I'm planning on taking the kids to BSF for bible study all morning, and on Thursdays we'll do a craft/activity tied into the bible story (i.e. when we do Jonah, we'll make a blue jello mold with gummy fish and stuff inside, and when we do Joseph, we'll make many-colored coats out of paper grocery sacks). We're hitting OT stories in the fall semester, and NT stories in the spring (I took this idea from Bennett's school last year). I'm still working on the curriculum and crafts list, as well as specifics on what we'll be memorizing each week from the Bible.

2) Two beefed up science units that I plan on doing with Bennett, one on Dinosaurs in the fall, and another on The Ocean in the spring. These two units will include lapbooks (which I'm alsoreeeally excited about, because they've got some pretty nifty stuff online you can use to make a unit study super fun for kids).

3) Field trips. We'll take one every couple of months, and I'd for sure like to hit the IMAX Dinosaurs movie, the Planetarium at our local children's museum, the Dallas Aquarium, and the butterfly exhibit at the Botanical Gardens. SOOOOO exciting - makes me wish I was a kid experiencing it all for the first time again!

4) Bennett is going to take music lessons with my mom every Friday (piano lessons, more specifically), which I'm pumped about and hoping he likes. If there's one thing I wish desperately I'd learned as a child, it's to play piano. He's still very young, so this year will just be an intro to music and having fun on the piano and maybe with other instruments.

5) The final thing missing here are our family plans that I've revised and have high hopes for this year. Michael's hours as an educator bless our family greatly, because he's here a lot and is so involved with our boys. I'm planning on having a Friday Movie Night each week, and a Saturday Game Night. On movie nights we'll break out the stereotypical popcorn, and on game nights, I'll make some kind of fun and different dessert. If all of this turns out to be too ambitious (which is HIIIIGHLY probable), we'll alternate weeks, doing movie night one week and game night the next (as I'm typing this, I'm thinking that's almost certainly what we'll end up doing :) ).

So there you go. Homeschooling and Family Plans in a nut shell for School Year 2011 (EEEK! I'm so excited!!). If you have any questions about any of the materials we're using, feel free to holler at me. I bought almost all of our materials on Amazon. They were cheapest there with free shipping in most cases.

HOME IMPROVEMENT

2011-06-27T17:59:00.000-07:00

After the last post about the now mandatory shower redo in our bathroom, I thought it only appropriate to update what's going on in the house DIY-wise.

1. I am still planning on painting our kitchen cabinets a soft white color and adding oil-rubbed bronze hardware to tie them in to our black appliances. I'm also planning on tiling a new backsplash and already have some of the tile for it (bought majorly on sale around Christmas time last year). However, this project still terrifies me because it could go way wrong in a hurry. But I know if I can get it right, it will brighten up our entire home (we have a very open concept layout) and will definitely increase the value of the home when we eventually sell.

2. I just saw a project on a blog today that I am now desperate to tackle because it looks SO amazing and would not be that hard or that expensive to do. It's a fireplace makeover, which sounds super intimidating, but compared to the kitchen project, it's child's play. Here's a picture and the link for the post I'm wanting to imitate. We would cover over the vertical brick entirely, like this woman did, and also paint the "bench" part of the brick white, like her. I think it's BRILLIANT, and would once again be one more step toward lightening and brightening our home, which is something I've really been working hard on for a year or so now. The link for it is HERE.

3. There are several odds and ends I still need to take care of, like spray painting a huge vase I got from Goodwill for $4, patching up the frame around our front door, and installing new hardware in the master bathroom. As I said before, all of this goes little by little using our minuscule monthly home improvement budget. Baby steps, baby steps.

I'll post before and after pictures as I get the projects completed. Wish me luck!

BUTTING IN

2011-06-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHA! I'm already laughing at my own cleverness with the title of this blog post. You'll see why in a minute (although I don't expect you to be half as impressed with my radiant wit as I am :) ).

This afternoon we got home from church and had lunch, and then Bennett begged and begged to play a combo game of hide-n-seek/escape the monster. It's where he and Michael hide somewhere and me and Jasper come find them, which thereafter ensues in an unlimited amount of tickling, growling, wrestling, etc. We do this over and over again, usually until one of the adults calls it quits (that's usually me).

For this particular round of the game, Michael and Bennett were hiding in our master bath shower. I was growling and making all kinds of fierce monster sounds, feeling extremely proud of my scary beast prowess. We wound it down and Bennett and Michael started to try to come out of the shower door with me still blocking the entrance and acting all "monstery." In Michael's pursuit of escape, he shoved his rear end back against the shower wall to push off and gain momentum (I am laughing out loud as I type), but instead of gaining that leverage, he dented in a large chunk of the tiled shower wall. The tiles caved and fell, leaving an exposed, crumbly part of the dry wall behind. BWA-HAHAHAHA!! Get it?! "Butting" in?! HAAAA!

The first thing I said to Michael was, "Wow, honey, your bottom is so big, it knocked out our shower wall!" Little ears pick up everything, and Bennett has been repeating and rephrasing that little jewel of a comment ever since. His favorite question to ask now is, "Daddy, how did your big bottom make a hole in that shower?" HAHAHAHA!! It never gets old, people.

So now my big-bottomed husband (if you know Michael and you know how tall and thin he is, you know how ridiculous this description is) is in our bathroom tearing apart our shower so he and my dad can re-tile it all. My dad is an expert tiler, so luckily all we'll have to pay for are the supplies, not manual labor. We're out a few hundred bucks and are considering trading the shower for our trip to Galveston later this summer (boo!), but our bathroom keeps getting prettier and prettier, so I guess that's good :).

FIRST TIME AT THE MOVIES

2011-06-24T12:17:00.000-07:00

This morning Mimi took me and Bennett to see his very first movie in the theater: Cars 2. This morning at breakfast he was so excited he told me he couldn't finish his food or his tummy would get sick. He LOVED it, and loved the whole experience so much, he cried when we had to leave after the movie was over (he thought we would get to stay and play or watch another movie). It was the cutest thing to watch him. I enjoyed watching him more than the movie, and so did Mimi :).

To make the event extra special, I got him a Cars 2 t-shirt (which Bennett was also pumped about), and we had popcorn and Sprite during the movie. You would've thought my little man was in heaven, getting all the attention from Mom and Mimi, getting to see a movie on the big screen, and getting a coke! He was bursting with happiness and excitement the whole time, and sat perfectly still (except for one bathroom break and one little rendition of musical chairs) watching the action.

This experience illustrated to me once again why God loves doing wonderful things for us, his children. He loves us so much, and he loves to bring us joy. It was a really special date with my little guy, and I'm looking forward to doing the same kind of thing with Jasper someday.

(pardon the crummy-quality of the pictures - they're from my phone)

Mimi and Bennett (aren't they the cutest??)

Getting ready to go in!

P.S. All the reviews you're reading about the movie are pretty much true. It has a huge, blatant political message about alternative forms of fuel, the pixar animation is rather crummy in parts, and the plot is way too complicated for little kids. So if you're going for yourself, don't go. But if you're going because you're hoping your little kid will enjoy the sequel of Cars, and they already love the first movie, I don't think you'll be disappointed. Bennett was completely unaware (as kids tend to be) of all the stuff I just mentioned. He loved the movie and loved the experience, and I just loved that he loved it :).

SUMMER SPECTACULAR - PART 3

2011-06-22T14:12:00.001-07:00

One of my very favorite things about doing something new is all the new people you meet and get to know. A lot of the cast was new this year, and with the way the cast was split into different groups for different parts of the show, it took a while to get to know people, but the two set building days and the last two weeks of practice/show times gave me the opportunity to get acquainted with a lot of wonderful, talented people. Now that it's all over, I'm really missing everyone!

These sweet girls are in the youth group at our church. It was so great getting to know a lot of them.

Abbey and Gracie (Gracie shared her husband with me for the show, who did an awesome job playing Ham), Mr. and Mrs. Skunk.

The Peacocks - Joey and Sarah. They were amazing. So amazing, in fact, that Sarah pulled a neck muscle from busting out her "peacock moves" - no joke. That's dedication, people.

Laura and I sang in choir together in high school. It was great doing the show with her after all these years! (Ms. Porcupine)

Suzy and I sing on praise team together. She's been doing the show for years (Mr. Sheep).

Mr. and Mrs. Monkey - Mrs. Monkey's name is Jenna in real life, and they have the same last name as me, so this created some confusion at first. Aren't they the cutest couple?!

Speaking of cutest couples ever, our narrators, Mo and Jo, who are Laura Beth and Jason, are engaged to be married in real life. We're going wedding dress shopping tomorrow - EEK!!

The men in Noah's family (Japheth, Noah, Ham, Shem).

The women in Noah's family (Arathka, Naamah, Zedkah, Nahala...yes, the names were made up).

Noah's family. I was privileged to work with such gifted people who dearly love the Lord. What a blessing!

(I have to also mention that ALL of our costumes were made by a woman at our church. She is UNBELIEVABLE, needless to say. I can't believe she got it all done, and she was never frustrated or without a smile. Ms. Pam is my hero!)

This show really gave me a renewed desire and conviction that teaching our children about the Lord and showing them His love and grace while they are young is so important, and can never be underestimated. When these kiddos came through the hour long line to have their t-shirts signed, they were so excited. It seemed to make their night when we learned their names, said hi to them, and asked them questions. They are so impressionable and have a natural, innocent belief in God that is so refreshing and encouraging. I loved doing this for the Lord, and for all the children and their families who love Him or, I pray, will come to know Him. Praise God that His Word is so powerful and that He uses the least of these to get His message across!

SUMMER SPECTACULAR - PART 2

2011-06-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

The show itself spanned three nights and totaled about 3 hours, and this year we did the story of Noah. There were evil people on Night One before the flood, the animals came on Night Two, and on Night Three, Noah's family and the animals were going crazy, ready to get off the boat. I was Ham's wife in the show, and the eight of us in Noah's family acted out the story along with the narrators (one of my best friends and her fiance, who are getting married in October and were SOOOO cute together on stage!).

There were wonderful things about each night. On Night One, the music was awesome and the dancing was intense. On Night Two, we sang African songs acapella to call the animals onto the Ark - they came through the audience from the back and down the stairs from the balcony. The first time we did this, almost all of Noah's family onstage got choked up watching the animals come along with the peoples' reactions in the audience. It struck me all at once that God really CREATED all of these animals - made them up out of thin air, using his imagination, and then He brought them to the ark in pairs. Amazing. On Night Three, of course, came the rainbow at the end, which consisted of hundreds of strings of lights zip tied behind a screen. It took the men working on it four days to make and they used 3,000 zip ties. Holy Moly.

God really does keep His promises, and He really is Almighty and all powerful. In the midst of the show, I felt so convicted and reminded of this. In so many ways, I think I was more blessed performing it all than the people in the audience watching.

This post will have a TON of pictures in it, and then the last post I'll write about the kids we met as they came through the line to have their shirts autographed, as well as the wonderful people I've met through it all.

P.S. I know my family is the only group of people who really care about this. I am not disillusioned to think anyone else is really all that interested :). Bear with me and it'll be back to normal blogging in a couple more days.

NIGHT ONE

NIGHT TWO

NIGHT THREE

SUMMER SPECTACULAR - PART 1

2011-06-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

There are too many pictures and too much info to cram into one post, so this will probably be a three-post kinda deal.

First I'll start out by saying that doing this show was a lot like Spring Sing back in my Harding days (NINE years ago - EEK!), and because of that, it was SO much fun, and something that I really wanted to do. I also have to say that I realized what a different place in life I'm at now. Having a family of my own - kids especially - makes a HUGE difference. For the majority of the the time (2 1/2 months) while getting ready for the show, I felt myself being tugged and pulled in several different directions, which was definitely a challenge!

It was tremendously helpful that Michael was so supportive and that he really wanted me to get the chance to do this. It was also AWESOME that they had childcare open during all practice times when we were up at the church practicing, and Bennett LOVED going, so I took him with me once every week or two to give Michael a break.

Practices were three times a week, two hours each time. About half way through, Noah's family started meeting an extra hour a week to go over songs, dances and lines, and the last two weeks, we were there every night from about 6:30pm-10:30pm. Dude. The whole experience introduced me to so many wonderful new people whom I'd never met, and shed new light on the term "work ethic"...holy moly. I practiced for 45 min to an hour 5-6 days a week at home while the boys napped, in order to learn the 27 songs and 20-ish dances, as well as the script for the show. Needless to say, I hardly know what to do with myself now! (On my first day off, I cleaned the bathrooms within an inch of their lives because I couldn't handle having nothing to do :) )

The show was a lot of hard work and added a lot of time constraints Michael and I hadn't anticipated, but I am SO glad and thankful I did it. Thousands of children came EACH night (for six nights in a row - we performed the entire show twice), and then waited in line for our autographs for over an hour each night, where we got to meet them and talk to them about God's love and promises. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. It doesn't get much better than that. There are stories every year of entire families and extended families who come to know God after attending Summer Spectacular, and I'm amazed at how well my own kids know the bible story the show is focused on after watching it.

Bennett and Jasper loved it, and liked seeing their mama on stage, I think. My mom said every time I came out, Jasper would say, "Mama! Mama!" over and over again, and Bennett would ask all kinds of questions about what songs I would sing next, or things I would do or say. I'm so glad they got to experience the story of Noah in such a big way.

The pictures for today are of my boys enjoying the decorations and excitement. The next two posts will mainly be pictures of the show itself and some of the amazing, oh-so-talented people I've gotten to know.

If you are interested, in about a month there will be a DVD of the whole show available for free, to keep and watch at home!

There were live parakeets in this cage all week. It was Bennett and Jasper's favorite place to visit. There was also a petting zoo after the nights when the animals were in the show. Such a neat idea!

My little monkeys :)

Stalls and stalls of paired off animals were placed all over the building.

They came to say hi and grab a quick picture before the last night of the show.

D IS FOR DADDY-O

2011-06-19T17:58:00.001-07:00

This Father's Day I am especially thankful for my husband and what an AMAZING dad he is. During the insanity that was Summer Spectacular (which will probably be a 2-3 post extravaganza, so get ready), this man of mine was supportive, loving, and positively wonderful with me and our boys. During the last two weeks leading up to the show, I took off at around 6:00pm and didn't get home until around 10:00pm (sometimes 11:00), and the week of the show, I left the house at 5:00pm and didn't get home till 10-10:30pm. Michael did not complain, he didn't gripe, he didn't fuss about all the time I was gone. He read our boys books, fed them dinner, played with them, bathed them, etc etc, for weeks while I got ready for the show and then performed it for seven straight days. He also took Bennett and Jasper to the first session all by himself, packing their bags, dropping them off at class, picking them up, and meeting up with Poppy and Mimi to watch the hour long show. Afterwards he took them to get autographs and visit the petting zoo. Amazing man, I tell ya! And he did all of this because he loves me and he loves our family. He encouraged me to do it because he knew I really wanted to, and he listened to me get excited, vent my frustrations, and sing the same 27 songs and do the same 20ish something dances over and over and OVER again :).

When I married Michael, I had no idea what an unbelievable dad and family man he would be. I totally lucked out. My boys are SO blessed to have a dad like him, and someday I know they'll understand that. The tone Michael sets for our family is relaxed, fun and godly, and I'm so glad he belongs to us! Love you, honey! You're the BEST!! Happy Father's Day!

BENNETTISMS

2011-05-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

Some sweet/funny things from my buddy:

1. He loves going to child care up at the church when I go to Summer Spectacular practice, and when he hears I'm going that night, he says, "Mom, please can I go to Summer McSpacular with you?" Michael and I crack up laughing every time.

2. Today we were all packed and ready to walk out the door to go to the water park for the first time, but in five seconds flat it started thundering, lightning and pouring down rain. We went out on the back porch to watch it and talk about our other options for the day when Bennett starts to spontaneously pray, "God, thank you for the rain, but I don't need it right now, so could you take it back? You can make it rain somewhere else if you want to, but I need to go to the water park today."

We had a conversation about how God wants us to pray and talk to Him about what we want and need, but He's still God and He still knows best, and sometimes the answer is no. It was a good talk/life lesson.

3. When Jasper gets hurt or is crying, Bennett often says, "Awww, baby, are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Yeah, yeah you did," and on and on in this high pitched little voice I can only assume is supposed to resemble my own :).

4. For over two months now, the kid has asked me at LEAST three times a week when we're going to have another baby. More recently it's turned into asking me if I have a baby in my tummy yet. He initiated the very idea with NO suggestion, mention or encouragement from me or his dad, and he continues to initiate every one of these conversations all by himself. He makes sure that I know that "Jasper John is growing up. He's not a baby anymore, so it's time for us to get a new one." I've told him I'll get back to him on that one. It is so interesting to me that he loves babies so much - he's truly mesmerized by them - because he never sits still and is such a typical rough-and-tumble little boy, but when it comes to babies, he has an extra soft spot in his heart. He has asked me numerous times when he will be old enough to get married and have his own kids, and he's told me he wants five children of his own. Dude. Someday I'm going to get to see my buddy payin' for his raisin'. HA! I'll enjoy every minute!

WHEW!

2011-05-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

I apologize for my lack of blogging these days. Life in our little family has exploded in the past couple of months, and I've been using every minute of my spare time just keeping up with ordinary, every day stuff, like cleaning and cooking dinner.

This year I'm involved in the huge production our church does every year called Summer Spectacular. It's like VBS on steroids. Very big, very powerful steroids. I practice three days a week (sometimes more), and it reminds me of my Spring Sing days at Harding, but even more intense because there's more music, more dancing, and more script to memorize, along with the fact that I now have a husband, house and children to take care of. Whew!! It's SOOO much fun when we're practicing, but sometimes I feel like a chicken with my head cut off when I'm at home dancing around in my bedroom while the boys are napping, trying to remember lyrics and dance moves and dialogue. It's a three night show that runs twice through over the course of an entire week in the middle of June, and this year we're doing the story of Noah. It totally rocks, and I can't wait for all the kids in our church and community to get to see it (and adults, too).

Other than that, I've also picked up a couple extra hours a week teaching children's bible class at our church, and next weekend I'm singing in a wedding of two wonderful, beautiful friends of mine who are marrying each other. The guy, Austin, is on praise team with me, and the girl, Anita, was the first person to evaluate Jasper months and months ago; she gave me the feedback I needed to pursue ECI occupational therapy with my little guy. I owe a lot to her. So I've been working on the song this past week when I'm not working on Summer Spectacular insanity :).

Also, to give an update on what's going on in our household, after a lot of prayer and quite a few conversations with family (and friends who are experienced in the matter) we have decided that I am going to homeschool Bennett next year. Saying this makes me almost laugh out loud because I NEVER thought I would do this, but there is so much peace and excitement that comes with this decision, that I know it's the right one for our family at this point in time. There are several reasons for my/our decision, and if you're interested in hearing them, I'd be happy to share in person. I'll say right now that I have no idea how long we will do this. For now I'm taking it a year at a time, and I'm super excited about doing it next year. This year Bennett was in a 3's class that we really loved, and we loved his teachers, and I also did some curriculum on the side with him at home on Mondays and Wednesdays. One of my concerns about homeschooling was that my buddy and I would really butt heads because we're a lot alike in a lot of ways, but from the work we've done together this year, I know that's not the case. We work well together in a school setting, which is exciting. I will also say that I am so very thankful for one of my good friends who lives a couple minutes down the road. Her laid back approach coupled with the way she loves and supports her children is a phenomenal example for me to look to, and since she's already homeschooled for three years, I'm able to learn from options she's already explored. So needless to say, I've also been busy, busy, busy with researching curriculum, attending an awesome homeschooling convention, and making plans for next year.

On top of all this, I painted and redecorated and shifted around the boys' bedrooms (see previous post), which also kept me busy for a week or two.

So pardon my lack of blogdom and please see fit to extend a little grace :). I should be back in the regular swing of things around late June with updates on me, the boys, and all our summer fun.

BUNKING UP

2011-05-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

We got Bennett's big boy room all set up, minus a couple of things for the walls that I'm still in the process of making/affording. I'm a little bummed about it because I don't just love the wall color (not quite what I was going for). I'm the world's WORST at picking the right shade of paint. But it matches and looks decent, so for now, it stays.

The comforters on the bunk beds are ones that I bought over a year ago, knowing already the look I was going for with the boys' shared room. For now, Jasper is still in his room (which I also redecorated, using Bennett's old nursery/little boy stuff). The plan is to move him with Bennett around Christmas time. The full size bed from Bennett's room has been moved into Jasper's room. We can actually have guests, and when they come, they'll have a BED to sleep in, rather than the couch! Amazing concept!

The boys love their new rooms, and in preparation for them sharing in a few months, I've already combined their clothes into one closet, and have reorganized our toys and storage. It's working GREAT, which is always nice :).

And here are the pictures I promised (you'll have to excuse the TERRIBLE quality - Michael had our nice camera at work, so I had to use our old faithful little digital camera, and the pictures really do look like poop), and everything we did, we did with nothing out of pocket because of our garage sale and getting rid of a couple of things we just didn't need on Craigslist. Fabulous!

Big Boy Room

Jasper's Room

THREE THINGS WE CAN BE SURE OF

2011-05-02T17:51:00.000-07:00

Michael told his students something at school today that I thought was really funny/clever. Of course, now that I've said that, your expectations will be waaay too high. But I thought it was clever enough to write it down.

He said, "As of today, there are three things we can be sure. Number one, there is a severe drought in Texas. Number two, global warming is causing the earth's temperatures to rise dramatically. Number three, they'll never catch Osama bin Laden."

(This was said with an extremely heavy dose of sarcasm, in case you weren't able to pick up on it here in blog land.)

Take into account that today it was 55 degrees outside in May, in TEXAS, and there are flash flood warnings all over the place because of the rain that hasn't stopped for two days. And the bin Laden comment speaks for itself. HA! Just goes to show you that you really can't know what will happen tomorrow!

FRIDY FAVORITES ON SATURDAY

2011-04-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

1) The Lazy Susan - I'm an organizing fiend these days, and one of my favorite tricks is to use lazy susans in cabinets (especially for cleaning supplies, canned goods and spices). So when I saw them on sale at Walmart for ONE DOLLAR apiece, I about wet my pants. I bought five immediately. Couldn't help myself. They're a little flimsier than the ones you'll find at BBB, but considering the ones there cost $8 a pop, you certainly won't hear me complaining. Cheers to getting and staying organized for mucho el cheapo!

2) Craigslist. We have sold several big things and gotten good money for them, and we've bought several things for excellent prices. Case in point: tomorrow we are picking up the boys' new shared room furniture (Jasper probably won't move into the room with Bennett until Christmas time-ish, and I wasn't planning on buying the furniture until then, but I saw this deal on Craigslist and COULD NOT pass it up!!!). We paid $550 for a NICE set of bunk beds, the large matching book case, matching 6 drawer dresser, and two twin-size mattresses. HOLY. MOLY. I was planning on spending almost double that on a new bedroom set. Once I get everything set up and the room painted, I'll post pictures. I heart Craigslist!

3) Garage Sales. Because you get to see and meet so many interesting people, because you get paid to get rid of a bunch of junk you just didn't need that was cluttering up your house, and because you can make $300 in 2 days like we did, and then promptly use that money to pay for a huge part of the aforementioned boys' furniture (the rest of it is being paid for with money we've made by selling other things on Craigslist - another reason I love it - so we're not spending ANY out of pocket money on their new room!!). Beautiful. God bless America.

4) Chicken Nuggets - the frozen, bagged kind you buy at the grocery store. In the four years I've had children, I have NEVER tried one, and had forgotten what they taste like...until today. I was a chicken nugget snob before today, but there was an extra one at lunch and I decided to bite the bullet and try it to see why my boys love them so much. Now I know. It's because they're stinking deee-licious!

Chock full of chemicals and other nasty-for-your-body things, I have no doubt, but that's what makes them taste so good! I'm going to start sneaking them more often. :) Who knew I was missing out on something so delicious? And to make the meal absolutely perfect and complete, I could cook up a box of processed, powdered mac & cheese. Yum.

5) Mint.com - it's a really cool, user friendly budgeting program you can use on your computer and smart phone. It plugs things in for you automatically and shows you how much money you have left in each budgeting category, and since it's on my phone too, I can do it while I'm out and about, which really helps me keep track of what I'm spending (a good thing, since that's not one of my strong suits). We've been using the program for two months now and we really like it.

SCARY HAIR (AMONG OTHER THINGS)

2011-04-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of people going through a lot of crazy hard things right now. Thought I'd post this to provide a little laughter for the day. My only criteria for these images were that they made me laugh out loud when I first saw them (Hint: I saved the best for last).

Now if that didn't bring a little more joy and sunshine to your life, I don't know what else will. HA! Happy Friday!

EASTER SUNDAY

2011-04-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

This year was the best Easter our family has celebrated together so far. Our boys are old enough now to understand a bit more about the reason behind it, and to be more involved in the celebration. Easter is also Bennett's favorite holiday, hands down (he talks about it all year), so it was fun to watch him enjoy it so much. Michael had Good Friday off, so we've had a long weekend to hang out as a family and just be thankful for all God has given us, especially His Son.

Here are a few pictures from the past few days (including the Easter Sunday outfits with the neckties me and my mom sewed for the boys!).

REAL CHOICES

2011-04-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

This post will take on a different tone and a different subject matter than ever before, but I cannot be silent about it. It's too important.

My mom is an amazing woman, and has one of the biggest, fullest servant hearts I've ever known. While growing up, she served my dad, my brother and I above and beyond, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. She's the closest thing to Jesus I know, and she doesn't have a mean or spiteful bone in her body. I adore her. Since me and Joe have grown up and I started having kids of my own, she retired from her job as a teacher, and began helping out with Bennett and Jasper, and also began doing volunteer work in several different arenas, including several of the women's ministries at church, tutoring at a Title I school, and most recently, starting up a brand new ministry at our church, called Beating Heart. It's this last ministry she has become involved in that I feel a need to write about.

In a nutshell, and to put it bluntly, Beating Heart is the pro-life ministry at our church. They mainly work with the organization called Real Choices, which is a local place women can go to receive free sonograms and spiritual, emotional and financial support in their pregnancies, rather than aborting their babies. It's an alternative to Planned Parenthood, who stand for "women's rights" and "doing away" with unwanted pregnancies. My mom also works with 40 Days for Life, which consists of 40 days of prayer, fasting and meeting together peacefully to support and save the lives of babies that would otherwise be lost.

Michael and I went to the annual Real Choices banquet a few weeks ago and the statistics were heartbreaking. But even more heartbreaking, is that our churches have no voice on this subject. In the body of Christ, this subject is taboo for reasons I don't really understand, and this should not be so. We should not be afraid of doing what Christ tells us to do. We should not shy away from protecting the innocent, or being lovingly honest about what is right and true.

The Lord calls us to be the voice for those who cannot speak for themselves. For the widow, the orphan, the poor, the sick, and the helpless. If an unborn child does not qualify, I don't know who or what does. It is the Lord's will that we stand in the gap for these babies.

I haven't figured out what this means exactly for me or my family, but I do know that at the very least it means speaking out and raising awareness, and telling the truth. It means being a voice for these unborn children, whose mothers are being lied to and deceived by organizations like Planned Parenthood, who don't understand the repercussions and suffering that comes from what they are choosing, and who often don't realize exactly what they've done until it's too late.

If you are ignorant or unaware about this subject, I would encourage you to do some research. If this blog makes you uncomfortable, I would ask you to ask yourself why. Why, when we're talking about the lives of innocent children, innocent babies who have no chance at life without the help and intervention of others? Why, when God calls us to love and serve and help these women and their babies? If we don't, who will?

If you want to get involved, check out www.realchoicesdfw.com, or if you go to our church and want to get involved with the Beating Heart ministry, check out the home webpage for ways to get involved.

RANDOM POST

2011-04-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

Some recent pictures (all taken on my phone - sorry for the fuzzy quality) of a few things we've been up to here and there. Playing at the park, flying kites, lighting candles during chapel, and Bennett's first Field Day.

Elbow in the face. Rough.

Let's! Go! Fly a Kite! (I sang the song from Mary Poppins in a loop at the top of my lungs the ENTIRE time we were out there, which Jasper loved, but my other two fellas weren't so keen about - HA!)

Bennett lighting candles for chapel. No we haven't converted, for anyone who would feel the need to worry :). This is the little school he attends.

Field Day. Bennett's class with the assistant teacher, Mrs. Krueger.

The little girl standing next to Bennett in the picture below told her mommy that he's her boyfriend and they're going to get married (wow, it starts young!). According to Mrs. Penkert (their teacher), they were fast friends from the get-go because they both talk a mile a minute - hee :). She's an adorable little thing, and her mom and I have become friends over the course of the year.

In other news, I have a new niece, Miss Lydia Katherine, who was born last Friday morning. She's beautiful, and B and J now have three cousins. Congratulations to the Wagner Family!

FACEBOOK FOLLIES

2011-04-09T19:19:00.000-07:00

In case you've noticed (or in case you haven't), I've quit facebook. Again. There are multiple reasons why, the main one being that I only returned in the first place to help promote my book and show any agents considering taking me on as a client that I do in fact have friends and networking capabilities. But facebook is so annoying and black-hole-ish to me, that it isn't even worth this anymore. So I figure I'll leave the book publishing in God's hands and let Him deal with agent expectations, should any arise :).

Long story short, if you go looking for me, you won't find me there anymore. You'll have to come here, or to my email (which I'd be happy to send you if you don't already have it - just ask), or call me on the phone (of course, my actually answering the phone to talk to you is yet another anathema - I loathe phone conversations, so texting is a much safer bet).

Main point of this post: Bye, bye, facebook! You won't be missed!

Coming up next: Random pictures and Real Choices.

BENNETTISM

2011-03-29T18:10:00.001-07:00

As soon as I finish this post, I'm going to go help Michael dye his hair gray (long story).

Bennett went with him to buy the box of color from the store. When he got back, he came up to me and said, "Mom, I want you to help dye daddy's hair now. Not like dying on the cross, like Jesus, but like changing colors. Are you ready?"

I sure am glad he cleared that up. I positively love getting a glimpse into the inner workings of the mind of my four-year-old.

And now I'm off to make my 29 year old husband look like an old man. If you're reeeally lucky, I'll post a picture of him at the end of this post when we're done.

*Creep-tastic*

(now I'm off to re-spray some of the parts that I missed the first time, at The Bearded Man's request)

THE WAITING GAME

2011-03-25T12:02:00.001-07:00

Sometimes life is easy, you get into a groove, you're content and happy to be where you're at, but other times...other times things are just hard, and you're uncertain of where you belong, where you're headed, where you want to be...things feel awkward and off balance and you can't quite find your niche, your place. Anybody ever felt this before?

I hadn't for a long time. Our little family coasted along for quite a while (years, actually), content with where we were at, checking off goals we'd met here and there, having babies, growing our family, tweaking our home, etc. etc.

We've been playing house for almost eight years now and God has blessed us richly in more ways than I can keep track of. But it has to be said that life runs in cycles and seasons, and right now, I'm in a winter of sorts. As an individual, as a wife, as a mommy. There are a lot of things personally that have built up and have to be dealt with. There are forks and bends in the road where Michael and I have decisions to make that effect where we will be and what we'll be doing for years in the future.

There are questions I'm asking over and over again, every day, that just don't have answers yet. For anyone who knows me well, you know that patience is not my forte, and that waiting is difficult for me. I become anxious, I doubt, I chew my fingernails, I get snappy and short with people (namely my husband, poor guy). I'm not a good waiter. I just want answers, and I want them now. It sounds ugly and selfish, but it's the honest truth.

We've been at this stage, in this winter season of waiting, for months and months now (since last summer, really), and it's wearing on me - spiritually, emotionally, physically. Waiting is just hard. But I also feel like (and hope!) I'm turning a corner in this waiting game, able to see some of the good things God is doing for us while we wait. There is a side of the Lord I am getting a taste of that I've never experienced before. I'm receiving measures of His patience that I've never really known before, and His grace and sweetness. While I wait, God fills me up with good things I'd never anticipated or planned on, and that's a wonderful thing to experience, full of things I wouldn't have wanted to miss. I talk with Him far more often, and far more urgently now than I have in a while. As I wait, I have time to get things done that have sat on a to-do list somewhere for weeks or even months. I am learning a lot about myself; waiting for something seems to serve as a mirror of sorts where a person really has to look hard at their reflection, uncovering what makes them tick, what motivates them, what they get up in the morning for.

The long and short of it is, waiting is hard, it's not fun, and it can be a somewhat miserable, wintry existence, but it teaches a person so much and stretches us like nothing else can. So even though I can't say I'm enjoying the wait, I can't really begrudge it, either. All I can really do is what I've been trying to do for months, and that's just to sit quietly before the Lord, and wait.

SPRING BREAK PROJECTS

2011-03-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

Dude.

Last week was our Spring Break (including Michael's, hallelujah!), and we got BUSY here around the house. Turns out I worked myself a little too hard, because I've been flat on my rear end for going on four days now, sick. I wore myself out, working straight through the boys' naps each day and at night after they went to bed (until Friday, when I was down for the count). Despite the sickness and inhalation of Robitussin CF and Sudafed around the clock, we were crazy-productive and I'm THRILLED by how much we got done. I'm posting some pictures and commentary on the myriad projects we tackled.

1) My dad and Michael tiled our laundry room floor (WaHOOOOO!! This has been a long time coming!). There was old, peeling linoleum there before. Take a look at those gorgeous before and afters! Brings a tear to my eye. :)

2) I picked up some tall, scary brass candlesticks from Goodwill a couple of weeks ago, paying $5 all together for them. I wish I had remembered to take a before picture, but just imagine, tacky, gaudy gold. I spray painted them white and hot-glued jute around the base of each one. I'm digging it, especially since I already had the paint and jute string on had, so my out of pocket was only the $5.

3) I finally, finally, FINALLY finished putting new contact paper in our kitchen cabinets. The old stuff was those white geese from the 80s or 90s. Rough. I love opening my cabinets and seeing the new, clean, shiny contact paper, and I love even more that I can FINALLY check this project off my to-do list!

4) Michael and Bennett planted a mini-garden out back with strawberries, cherry tomatoes, and something else I can't remember off the top of my head.

5) Michael and Bennett also power washed the driveway, walkway, and back porch (thanks, boys!).

6) Jasper mowed the grass - hee :)

7) We trimmed our GIGANTIC crape myrtles, and our big live oak, back at the end of February, and even though that doesn't count as a Spring Break project, it was a beast and I had to post some pictures to go with the work - we worked our fannies off to get it done and LOVE the end result (which I don't have pictures of, but you get the idea).

8) Another thing I did that I don't have a picture of is our master bathroom. We textured it (with our friends, the Becks) over a year ago, and I painted the walls, and then my dad and Michael tiled it, but there were touch-ups with the paint and re-installed baseboards that DESPERATELY needed to be taken care of, and I did that last week too, along with touching up the baseboards and door frames in our bedroom, the living room, entryway, and laundry room, and also the back door. Holy Moly, I'm a hoss.

9) I took an old Christmas decor tin can and mod-podged over it with scrapbook paper to use as a dryer sheet holder in our laundry room. I mod-podged ribbon trim at the top and bottom as well. It fits the cabinet space a lot better than the cardboard box the sheets come in, and it looks cuter, too! The project cost me nothing out of pocket since I already had everything on hand, and took about ten minutes to complete.

10) Last thing: I painted our computer desk white, and I LOOOOOVE it!! I really don't like oak wood, which is unfortunate since pretty much every built-in and cabinet and door in our house is that color, but I knew I could fairly quickly and easily do something about our computer desk. What I love most about the way this project turned out is that it really adds a boost to my attempt to lighten the color schemes in our house a bit, AND, it's a cheap little desk that we only paid $100 for several years ago, but I think painting it white makes it look a lot nicer. And all the painting I did this weekend came from using paint we already had on hand, so it only cost about $10 out of pocket for a couple of rollers and a paint brush.

I intended on sewing Easter ties (SOOO excited about this!!) last week for the boys to wear on Easter Sunday, but like I said, my body had other ideas, and I crashed and burned instead. There's one other sewing project that I'll tackle along with the neck ties, and I'll put up the links for the "how-to's" for both of those when I actually do them. And one other project I'll hit in a couple of weeks is a SUPER CUTE box made out of paint stirring sticks! It's ADORABLE, and when I finish it, I'll post the tutorial from the original blog I got the idea from, and a picture of the finished product.

And if you were wondering, because of my eye-twitch reaction to my last BFHP (Big Fat Hairy Project), yes indeedy, my eye sure did start twitching in the midst of all this craziness last week. I think it started twitching in earnest on Thursday, the day before I was pretty much bed-ridden, which should have been my first clue that I needed to take it down a notch. Ah, well, live and learn (and give a nice, fat shout-out to my man, who did half of the projects listed, sans eye-twitch, and then helped take care of me and the boys on his last few days off when I got sick - as I've said before, he's awesome).

In case you can't tell, I'm totally procrastinating on "The Waiting Game" post. Don't really want to write it. Don't really like talking about waiting in general. I'll get there eventually.

MY COOKIE MONSTER

2011-03-19T12:32:00.000-07:00

My Jasper John is two years old, and I'm fresh out of babies now *sigh.* It still amazes me how much he has blossomed and grown since his eye surgery last September. The strides he has made make me feel so proud of him - he's worked so hard to get where he is. Before posting pictures of the birthday and the birthday party (a small family party this year), here's a milestone/personality list for my little one:

1) This kid has a sweet tooth a mile long. Sugary cereal, ice cream, bubble gum (yes, we give him gum when brother gets it, wag your finger at me if you must - he chews it and never swallows it!), candy, COOKIES...it's the straight and narrow way to his heart. Want to bond with the little guy or pull him away from Mama? Just offer him a cookie, and he's your instant BFF. I used to encourage eating all the sugar, months ago when he wasn't gaining weight and sugary stuff was all he would eat. But now we're trying (TRYING) to scale back.

2) He's still a Mama's boy (and a Mimi's boy), hands down. I'm the one he comes looking for in the morning when he wakes up, when he's sleepy, when he's hungry, when he needs some loving, etc etc. Jasper is my little cuddle bug and I'm eating it up while I still can. He just likes being where I'm at, which is a high form of flattery if you ask me. It gets slightly irritating when I'm in the kitchen trying to cook dinner, or trying to clean, but I've found that I can give him a task or tool like the one I'm using, and he's good to go :)

3) Jasper loves his big brother Bennett to pieces. He copies a lot of what Bennett says and does, which makes for interesting interactions between the two of them at times (Like when they're hollering in each other's faces. Joy.). If Bennett is working on numbers and counting, Jasper wants to "count" too. If Bennett is painting or doing puzzles, so is Jasper. If Bennett growls and crosses his arms in a pouty way, so does Jasper (Lovely.). If Bennett is finished with breakfast, so is Jasper. Right now Bennett still doesn't know what to do with his little brother because he's not quite ready to play the games Bennett is most interested in, but I see marvelous, beautiful things in store when they can play together more and more. I love it that they have each other.

4) Educational stuff: he knows almost all of his letter sounds and will say them when you either say a letter name or point to a letter, but he won't say the name of the letter itself yet. When he wants to, he also has a pretty good vocabulary, but a lot of his words are still partially said (like leaving off the ending sound). We had him evaluated for speech (and everything else!) when we started therapy, and they said he's a few months ahead of the game, which is nice. He knows the color purple and the color blue, and sometimes the color yellow and green. He can do simple chunky puzzles and he LOVES reading books - he would be happy as a clam to read books all day long.

5) His little personality is so sweet and loving, and he has a very sensitive heart. If he gets a spanking, big fat crocodile tears roll down his cheeks and he cries and cries. It just breaks his heart (and his Mama's, although I have to pretend otherwise). Same thing if he gets a stern "talking-to." If someone else in the room is upset or crying (like Bennett, or another kid in his class at church), Jasper's little lip starts trembling and he'll join them if he doesn't get a little comfort and reassurance that it's okay.

6) Jasper loves to figure out how things work. Me and my mom think he has the mind of an engineer, like my Grandpa. He takes things apart and puts them back together, he sits and studies things, you can see him plan things out in his head. He wants to know how pieces work together, and he loves to build. It is fascinating to watch because he and his brother (who moves a mile a minute and would have a hard time sitting still if you paid him to) are SO different.

7) Both of my boys are excellent sleepers, but Jasper takes the cake. He actually tells me when he's ready to go night-night a lot of times, and when I put him down both day and night, he lays down and goes to sleep immediately without a peep. His afternoon nap is two hours long, and he sleeps twelve hours at night. Beautiful.

8) Favorite foods (besides sweets): chicken nuggets, pizza, corn, broccoli, rice, beans, raisins, applesauce, yogurt, eggs. Foods he will NOT eat: PBJ sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, sliced cheese, lunch meat.

9) Favorite things: cars, wheels, pushing strollers/pulling wagons, playing outside, going for walks, reading books, singing "I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy" and "Roll the Gospel" (these are his absolute FAVORITE songs and he requests both of them multiple times a day), good music, The Wiggles, Elmo!! (whom he sleeps with at night now), helping Mommy (LOVES to help), building with blocks, trains, his Mimi.

10) He reminds me so much of my brother, which is such a sweet thing. My brother has special needs, for those of you who didn't know, and although Jasper does not, he takes after Joe in a lot of his sweet, innocent traits. It's really special seeing some of the similarities and feeling kind of like I'm loving on Joe at the same time I'm loving on my child. My parents really seem to take joy out of this as well - I think it's healing in the way it brings things around full circle, if that makes any sense. It's a beautiful thing God did in giving them a lot of the same personality traits, and likes and dislikes. Very sweet.

And now for the pictures. I'll post a couple from his actual birthday, which was on the 14th, and then a bunch more from his Cookie Monster party :)

The Birthday

The Party

My stars, I love this boy. Happy Birthday, sweet Jasper John!

JASPER'S LETTERS

2011-03-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

Jasper learned most of his letter sounds a couple of months ago and I had to post a video of him and his Mimi reading one of his favorite books together.

Until I had Jasper, I thought Bennett was a natural book lover, but I know now that a lot of his love for books comes from my constant reading with him when he was little bitty, and our scheduled time at night. Jasper is an authentic book lover, regardless of environment or upbringing. It's worked out so wonderfully to have Jasper second, because he naturally gravitates to books, bringing them to me to read all day long. I'm so thankful for this since I really didn't invest the time with him like I did with Bennett. Part of this is because I was working so hard with Bennett on other things (like behavior :) ), and part of it is because there were so many other more pressing things to work with Jasper on, like physical therapy every day, patching his eye, trying to get him to eat to keep him gaining weight, etc. etc.

I digress. So here's the video of our sweet fella. (We're kind of crazy about him around here :) ).

P.S. This little guy will be TWO years old on Monday!! I can hardly believe it! We're having a little family party for him next weekend with a Cookie Monster theme - he doesn't mess around when it comes to sweets and he really digs Sesame Street, so I thought it an appropriate choice :).

DETOUR

2011-03-07T18:41:00.000-08:00

Another little detour:

Michael and I were blessed to go out to a 900 acre ranch one of the elders of our church and his wife own and run, out in Baird, TX. We went with two other couples, and all of us are being mentored by this elder and his wife, a ministry our church began at the beginning of this year. Such a wonderful idea! We spent the weekend talking a LOT, getting to know each other and talking about what God has done and is doing in our lives, we went four-wheeling for hours on Saturday (our first time - we were feeling like cool dudes by the end of the day), the guys went fishing and shooting, and also tried their hands at tagging and branding calfs (or is it calves??). We climbed rocks, deer blinds, and rickety ladders (one of which was perched in the middle of what they call "Snake Canyon," where a den of rattle snakes live - they were hiding out at the time). I could feel my brain synapses exploding and tingling with glee at all the new experiences. :) Pictures to follow.

Yes. Yes, that is my husband sitting on a pole in the middle of nowhere, and yes, he sure did climb up there all by himself.

Our group, getting ready to go have an adventure! (a cold, windy adventure :) )

The guys, ear tagging the calves.

Branding a calf.

Dude. My man is looking FI-IINE in this pitcha.

What? You want a caption? How about "Ridiculous"

Sweet Suzy and Morton, our mentors.

Our group: Willie, Stephanie, Craig, Carrie, Me, Michael

Up on the rocks.

On top of "Snake Canyon," a big, fat snake den - no lie.

Thanks so much to this wonderful couple for inviting us out for the weekend, and thanks to my mom and dad for watching the boys all weekend while we were gone!

UPDATE ON THE MAMA

2011-03-01T12:41:00.001-08:00

The video I took of Jasper isn't computer-ready yet, so until that happens, I'll keep going down the rest of my list of blog posts. Today is the update on yours truly.

**As I mentioned in my last post, it's been a rough ride for the past couple of months. About six months ago, I wrote a post about overcoming the sin of gluttony and overeating, and how this has always been a struggle for me, but that I'd found freedom. Well, guess where Satan hit me hardest? Yep. With food. Even as I write this, I cringe inside because I just don't like admitting such weakness, and over something that seems so silly. But everyone has their downfalls, their struggles, and this has been mine. I'm going back through the same course again, and God is opening my eyes to new things about His grace and mercy, and His quiet peace, that I've never understood so clearly. I am thankful for this. I also know that I'm traveling a long, hard road, and I am thankful to have God at my side, flexing His muscle and doing the grunt work that I'm not strong enough for. That's update number one.

**Number two is book stuff. Nothing has happened with the first book I wrote, although I've been sitting on a couple more proposals to a couple more agents that have yet to be sent, and I'm also considering sending my work straight to publishers, but I haven't decided yet, and I'm not in any hurry. I'm actually working on two others right now (for pure enjoyment/hobby). One of them is a sequel of sorts to the first book I wrote, and the other is a completely random YA novel that I started a couple of weeks ago in a burst of inspiration and plot/character ideas. The sequel is about 60 pages in length right now, and the YA project is about 30 pages so far. I go back and forth working on the two, depending on my mood. It's fun to think about my kids reading these books when they're older, that I've written while they're babies.

**I am trying to gear myself up for more projects around our house, like hand towel ties to be sewn on that keep towels from slipping off your oven or refrigerator handle, painting our computer desk, touching up our baseboards and crown moulding with white paint, and the horrifying, hair-raising prospect of painting our kitchen cabinets (EEK!). I've recently tackled the finishing of Jasper's first year scrapbook (FINALLY!) and am organizing ALL of our pictures into their proper albums, and creating new albums where appropriate. This includes photos of our honeymoon cruise, our trips to Prague, China, New York, and Washington D.C., pictures from college, and pictures of the boys over the past year. LOTS of work ahead on this, but I've gotten a lot done already. Michael and I also tackled trimming (hacking is more like it) back the huge live oak in our front yard, and a pair of gigantic crape myrtles. It was so shaggy and bad, we had to rent a chainsaw to get the job done. It took me hours of pruning a little here a little there, and then both of us working all weekend to finish up, but there's so much satisfaction in feeling like your yard is actually landscaped, instead of a party-site for whatever vermin feel like roosting in your wildly growing greenery :).

**I'm in a place in life where I'm also trimming and pruning back things in my life that are unnecessary or cause unwanted clutter/complications, and the more I cut away, the better I feel. Simplifying one's life is a beautiful thing.

**It has struck me lately that I am one blessed woman when it comes to my friends. I have so many wonderful people who love me and my family more than I could ever hope to deserve, and all I can say is how grateful I am, and how needed these precious, beautiful people are in my life. A friend and I were talking over coffee the other night about how funny it is that you can have different friends who serve totally different purposes in your life, and they are all needed and desired, and wonderful to have. That's the way I feel. God has orchestrated each of these friendships, and I hold them all close to my heart. Friendship is one of God's coolest inventions :)

**I am so thankful to be able to breathe again (both literally and figuratively). The boys and I have been sick for over a week (Michael avoided it and remained healthy as a horse, as always), and it's so nice to be out from under spiritual attack for now, and to be physically back to my old self again.

**Jasper John turns two on the 14th, and I just can't believe it. I still talk to him like he's a baby - something I've really got to stop doing - and I know that's still my mindset. I know I feel even more that way because of all his health issues and hard work to get to where he is today. This has been a year of tough milestones. Four and two are just so different from having a toddler and a baby. I'll write an update post just on him when the time gets closer. For now I'm just biting my nails nervously, in disbelief that he's been a part of our family for two whole years. How blessed we are.

**I am researching what to do with Bennett for school. He will be in pre-K next year, so there's no real urgency, but I'm a planner, and I like to have my ducks in a row. We're considering homeschooling...(Michael is a huge fan)...never thought I'd say that, but there you have it. If you've even remotely considered it yourself, I highly recommend a book I'm reading right now called The Well Trained Mind. A friend of mine who homeschools her kiddos loaned it to me, and I'm so glad she did. It has really opened my eyes to the goals we have for our family, and the feelings I have about it all. More on this when I know more about which way I'm leaning and what road we are actually going to start down.

And there's a full, well-rounded update on the mama for you.

SHARING OUR STORY

2011-02-26T12:33:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned me and Michael's story on here a few times, so forgive me if you're sick of hearing how broken and tattered our marriage used to be (on it's last breath), but we were given the opportunity to do something wonderful with what we've been through last week at church. We got plugged into a wonderful bible class about a year and a half ago, comprised of around 50-75 young families like ours (on up into parents with middle schoolers primarily). We love the teachers, we love the subject matter that's covered, and we love the people we get to see and fellowship with each week. Some of my closest friends are in this class.

For the past three months or so, the class has covered marriage, and more specifically, helping marriages heal, work out problems, and grow stronger. The two couples who run our class alternated weeks covering different topics, and it's been good to be encouraged and to get pointers on marital issues. There were also two couples who shared their personal testimonies, and we were one of them!

This was our first time to share our story publicly together (I have shared it alone once before to a ladies' class), and it wasn't easy. Not just because of the story itself (although it's painful to remember all of that, of course), but also because Satan did NOT want us to tell it, and I mean DID. NOT. The two months leading up to our doing this were the darkest, most difficult months Michael and I both have been through in years, both as a couple and as individuals. For the first time in my life, I felt the need to cling to Jesus' name and proclaim it for protection. My emotions and senses were assaulted daily, and Michael had really tough struggles as well. Sometimes we would just look at each other and say, "Really?! This is RIDICULOUS!" And we joked (but were really serious!) about how glad we would be after giving our testimony was over and things went back to normal. I even had conversations with Satan telling him he could bring it, but that God wanted us to share this, to give glory to His Holy Name for the miracles He still does, and to help others, so that's what we were going to do.

And the enemy sure did bring it. In addition to all of the heavy, hard personal stuff we experienced, last weekend, the Sunday we were scheduled to talk, Jasper got sick with a solid fever, and on Saturday night, I lost my voice completely (which could not happen since I would be talking half the time the next morning). I couldn't even sleep that night. I tossed and turned, feeling literally tormented (the oddest, scariest feeling). I prayed myself to sleep, knowing that others were praying for us as well.

The next morning my voice was still scratchy and rough, but it had strength and enough volume, and Jasper's fever was gone, thank you Lord. While getting ready, I prayed for the Holy Spirit to comfort us and give us peace, and for Him to speak through us, so it would be God's words, not ours (the night before we'd thrown our outline in the trash and decided to stick to a more basic powerpoint, because it was coming out sounding stilted and rehearsed rather than authentic).

We got to church and went to service first, and Every. Single. Song. was for us. Truly. To encourage us, to lift up our heads, to proclaim praise for the miracles God does in the lives of those who love Him. Every. Song. I cried as I mouthed the words (saving my voice for class) and knew that God's hand was on us and blessing us for what we were about to do. Is there anything more amazing in life than knowing you are exactly where God wants you to be, doing exactly the thing He wants you to do, exactly when He wants you to? It's a spiritual high to walk in the pure will of God.

We shared our testimony in class, and there were friends - wonderful, precious, familiar faces - who came to hear us share our story. That meant more to me than any of those people will ever know. God used them to give us courage. God was there. He was there. And when we were finished, we knew that God had been glorified through the telling of it, and that others had been helped and encouraged. Praise Him!

I write this to remember this time, to remember how hard and how joyful an experience it was, and how God held our hands and held our heads up and protected us the entire way. And I write it to say thank you, thank you to those of you who were there, to those of you who prayed for us, and for those of you who have loved us through all the ups and downs our relationship has taken over the last 7 1/2 years. We are blessed, and are excited about continuing to share our story to bless others.

**If you weren't there and you want to hear what we shared, feel free to comment here or email me. There was an mp3 recording done, and I can email the link to you to download.

WHAT BOYS NEED

2011-02-22T13:00:00.000-08:00

When Michael and I were in counseling, I still remember something our counselor said to us. He told us that girls need to know that they are beautiful and adored by their fathers, and that boys need to feel like they've got what it takes. I agree with both of these, and I've kept it in the back of my mind while raising my boys. But just the other day, the concept was further reinforced.

Jasper adds more and more three word phrases to his vocabulary every week, but one of the early ones was, "I got it," or "I get it." A few days ago he was trying to do something independently and I was trying to help him, and he began to act frustrated, saying, "I got it! I got it!" over and over again. It suddenly reminded me of Bennett at that age, and I remembered that one of Bennett's earliest phrases was, "Got it!" and a whole lot of "Got the ball! Got the ball," since that's what he spent all of his time playing with.

I realized that both my boys have a natural desire to defend their ability to do things themselves, and to let me know that they can handle or take care of whatever is needed. And with both of them, this began at less that two years old.

They really do need to feel like they've got what it takes, like they can solve the problem, find the solution, work things out, and do it all successfully.

Later in life, they'll feel the need to provide and take care of their own families, the people they love. But for now, this mama is trying to make sure my boys know that they've "got it," while I've still got them :).

COMING SOON

2011-02-21T12:14:00.000-08:00

Several blogs lined up for the next couple of weeks or so:

1. What Boys Need

2. Video of Jasper John

3. Sharing our Testimony

4. Update on the Mama

5. The Waiting Game

6. Random Pictures

THE BIG "V"

2011-02-15T15:00:00.000-08:00

Michael asked me to marry him on Valentine's Day eight years ago, while we were still juniors at Harding, so this day has extra special significance to us. We'd known each other exactly 2 1/2 years to the day when he proposed. Even though it's a wonderful day to remember and mark time by, some years we have the energy and inspiration to do it up big, and some years we don't. This year Michael went above and beyond. Yesterday I woke up to flowers and a card that explained there would be emails with hints to my remaining cards throughout the day. He even themed the cards, writing each one under the umbrella of "Walking through Life." Each card highlighted some character strength he admires in yours truly, like honor, beauty, strength, talent, work, etc. And written inside each card I found were specifics about our life together of ways he believes I illustrate each of those characteristics. His admiration and appreciation couldn't have come at a better time - I've been feeling down and attacked lately, and frankly, rather unlovable, which is a lie from the enemy, and hurtful at any level you buy into it. ANYway, so the things he wrote were more encouraging to me than anything has been in a very long time, and I know the Lord knew I needed to hear it all.

In the midst of my card reading, me and the boys had a great day of peanut butter waffles with chocolate hearts for breakfast, playing outside, making and eating Valentines cupcakes, and opening presents from their especially special Valentines (Mommy and Mimi, of course). When Michael got home, we all went to Anejo's (Tex Mex) for dinner, where there were fire pits indoors (Bennett and Jasper were big fans) and the food was pretty yummy.

This year was a hit, and it was pretty much wholly orchestrated by Michael. Thanks, hon!

Today, Bennett's class had their Valentine's Party. The parents all sign-up and rotate organizing and decorating different events throughout the year, and the ones who did today's did a great job. The kids were so excited about the decorations, food and games. I included a few pictures. The first is with Bennett and his teacher, Mrs. Penkert. He ADORES her! They're cutting out jello hearts that they mixed together earlier in the morning. Several parents commented to me about how sweet and loving Bennett is with Jasper, and how well they get along, and that felt good. We definitely have our crazy, whiny moments, but they do love each other so very much, and Bennett really looks out for his little brother. Below you can see him giving Jasper his food - he shared everything he had from the party and warmed my heart up good! I love it that they're so close at such a young age. A good friend of mine told me once that she tells her kids that they're best friends, and that's how they should treat each other and love each other, and I thought that was such a wonderful thing to tell siblings, I say the same to my boys.

Hope you all had a Happy Valentine's Day, full of the love of God and each other!

BEING DIFFICULT

2011-02-15T12:10:00.001-08:00

HILARIOUS conversation in the car with Bennett this morning on the way to school, I just HAD to share.

Bennett: Mom, can we listen to The Backstreet Boys?

Mom: No, you guys have been pretty difficult this morning, so Mommy is going to listen to what she wants to listen and relax to this morning (I pop in my CD).

Bennett (thinks for a second then says): Mom, you're never difficult with me and Jasper.

Mom (a little surprised by that statement and glad he thinks so): Thanks, Bennett. I try not to be.

Bennett: But sometimes you're difficult with Daddy, and Daddy is sometimes difficult with you.

Mom (laughing inside): Yes, that's true. Sometimes we are "difficult" with each other. But even when we're difficult with each other, we always love each other, like you and Jasper.

Bennett (thinks for a minute again, then almost under his breath says): Yeah, me and Jasper are difficult with each other a lot.

Pretty sure the word "difficult" was being substituted for "fighting" in that particular conversation. Out of the mouths of babes. HA! Love that boy!

MY MELLOW FELLOW

2011-02-10T19:55:00.001-08:00

I have prayed earnestly for the day I could write a post like this, and now it's here.

Bennett turned four in early December, and a couple of weeks after that, Michael and I began to notice some pretty big changes in our little buddy. His fit throwing diminished to almost nil, and whenever a tantrum began, a reminder of the consequences could almost always derail it. He suddenly became more interested in helping around the house, making Jasper happy, and became a lot better at cleaning up after himself (less complaining, more efficiency). And all of a sudden, after making a bad choice and doing something wrong, he more often than not began to return to the scene of the crime and say something to the effect of, "Hey, Mom? Remember when I __________ (names his offense)? I'm really, really sorry I did that. I won't do it again." In general, he has mellowed a bit, and his desire to obey and to live in harmony has returned (WaHOOOOO!), as well as now choosing to independently implement all of the training and hard work Michael and I have poured into him for the past four years. PRAISE THE LORD!!

Since he turned two, Bennett has been a tough nut to crack. He's a strong-willed, highly intelligent little booger who knows what he wants, how he wants it, and when he wants it. We love and treasure every part of Bennett's personality and the way God so perfectly knit him together, but there are some aspects of each child that are harder than others. The same things that will one day serve as a child's greatest strengths as an adult, can be their greatest weaknesses when they're not approached with the wisdom of God and good guidance (and these strengths/weaknesses can also lead to a few gray hairs - ha!). We have prayed a LOT over this little boy, many times not knowing what to do next except for the Lord's guidance, so it's fantastic to experience the smoothing out of a lot of the rough edges of toddlerhood that Michael and I have been working on for so long. I must say that diligence and consistency DOES pay off, because for the past two months, we have had a tamer, sweeter, more obedient, more thankful little boy on our hands.

I've heard it from several others, but there really does seem to be something special about turning four. I don't know exactly where all of these changes come from, but it seems to me that he finally decided to mentally shrug his shoulders and say to himself, "Yeah, I guess you guys have been right all along. The way you do things really is the best. I give up; you can be the boss after all."

Wherever his surrender has come from, we are praising the Lord and giving thanks to Him daily for letting us see the sweet, positive, wonderful sides our Bennett James has to offer. It's so nice to not feel discouraged, or doubting our roles as parents, wondering if we were making any kind of difference at all for those two long, hard years. Now we're seeing a pay-off, and things are running much more smoothly in our household (although somebody else is slowly but surely showing signs of creeping up into the Terrible Twos - eek!).

Thanks, my dear sweet first-born, for that two year glimpse of what having a teenager might begin to be like (oy vey!), and thanks even more for moving on to a new, slightly more relaxed stage of life! :) Regardless of whatever stage of life you are in, your daddy and I love you completely, and we praise God for the amazing plans He has in store for you and all He is shaping you to be!

LORD, COME QUICKLY

2011-02-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

I've never understood people who go through horrific times in life and instead of turning toward God, they choose to turn away. I can't pretend I've ever been through such a devastating, heart-wrenching time myself, so I suppose some would say I have absolutely no room to speak, but grieving and mourning is such a spiritual thing.

A friend of mine has received some of the most terrible news of her life , and as I stood there at her side while she cried, having no words to say, no way to bring her the relief she sought, I thought how thankful I am that we both have the Lord. Because God is God, and that will always be enough.

My heart is so heavy - heavy beyond words - but my grief on her behalf does not begin to touch what she feels. This knowledge has made me thankful for prayer. I stayed up late into the night on prayer vigil last night - and I very well may do so again tonight - and know that my God hears my voice, and He sees her tears, and He feels our pain.

How different from the way the world thinks, to feel thankful in such a time. But when I serve a God who offers so much comfort, and I have the confidence of knowing He will hold and comfort my friend when I am unable to do so, how can I not be thankful? How can I not be glad to know that through the horribleness life throws at us, until He comes again, Christ will hold us close and absorb our pain and live every moment with us?

Lord, come quickly. Above all else, You are what we need.

SOUTHERN SNOW

2011-02-03T14:05:00.000-08:00

(click to enlarge)

CHECK LIST

2011-02-02T17:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, the snow days here are getting a little ridiculous. Michael's school already has Friday and Monday off, and he has been off since Tuesday because of the crazy weather here, so he's essentially getting an extra Spring Break a couple months early. Here in our little house, we're running out of ideas to keep us all sane and entertained. Here's all we've done so far:

*Jumped on an icy, snow-packed trampoline

*Clomped down the sidewalk on our street several times

*Fixed broken toys and books

*Set up a play doh and puzzles table

*Watched one of the ka-jillion Land Before Time movies about a dozen times

*Read LOTS of books

*Wrestled

*Baked cookies

*Built towers out of legos and our magnetic builders (lost count of how many)

*Made pancakes for dinner

*Made a giant jumping/wrestling pad on the living room floor

*Danced to fun, upbeat kid music by Go Fish (highly recommend)

*Cleaned both bathrooms (that was me)

*Three loads of laundry (just me again)

*Vacuumed, swept and mopped the house (Michael - WaHOOO!)

*Piled pillows, blankets and stuffed animals in Jasper's crib and let the boys wade through it all

*Took a short ride in the car to the main road by our house to see how icy it was (very)

*Taken long naps (Can't complain about this - both boys have slept 3+ hours the last two days!)

*Made plans to work out that have fallen through two days in a row

*Played hide and seek

*Worked a bit on my second book (have a bit over 50 pages so far)

*Actually washed my hair today

Holy Moly, I'm exhausted just thinking about it! I think tomorrow we're going to start working on re-caulking our bathrooms (joy), break out the coloring books, make some kick-butt omelets, and work on some Valentine cards. Trying to keep an upbeat, positive attitude for the family; snowy cold weather is fun when it's brief, but good gracious! I live in Texas for a reason, people!

FRIDAY FAVORITES ON WEDNESDAY

2011-01-26T12:50:00.001-08:00

Because I have a few new favorites that I just HAVE to share, here they are on a Wednesday.

1) Red Velvet Cheesecake Blast from Sonic. Holy Cow. This thing is DEEE-licious! And of course they're only here through Valentine's Day. I've been squandering the Sonic gift cards Michael got from his students for Christmas, almost entirely on this delightful treat.

2) Our new Hoover vacuum cleaner. You know how you can get in a routine/rut and not realize you're making life a whole lot harder on yourself than it has to be? That's how it was for me with vacuuming with our old Dirt Devil (that finally died, thank goodness). This Hoover is the bomb. It actually picks up stuff the first time (imagine!), it's easier to cart around from room to room, it's light-weight, and it's MUCH quieter. Michael actually suggests we vacuum together as a family a couple times a week (HA!! How's THAT for miraculous?!)

3) Trampolines. Not all trampolines. Just ours. Because having one in our back yard now makes a world of difference for a tired mama with a boy (or two) who have limitless stores of energy and games waiting to be expended. It's a beautiful thing.

4) Beth Moore. This woman is amazing. Just started her bible study about David, titled A Heart Like His. Today was my first day to do the workbook, and as usual, she had me from hello. Anticipating a lot of stretching and growing. Very exciting.

5) My husband. I was exhausted yesterday, for several reasons, and just wanted some time to myself. So when Michael got home, he said, "Go do what you need to do. I'll take the boys." So I took off at 5:30pm and had a night to rest and recharge and do whatever I wanted, while he played in the floor with our kiddos and straightened up the house. Yeah, he did. Love him.

LITTLE TALKS

2011-01-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

(while the boys are eating lunch and playing a lot more than they should be, but I don't feel like running interference)

Bennett: Jasper, why are you making that silly noise? Is it because you want to be just like me and because you love me?

Jasper: Yeah.

Bennett: I thought so.

(continue eating quietly while Mama wears a great big smile)

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(Jasper, headed to the back door with his jacket)

Bennett: Sorry, Jasper. Mom said we're not going outside right now.

Jasper: (hollers in protest) Jump! I want jump! (on the trampoline they got for Christmas)

Bennett: No, Jasper. Mom said it's too cold.

Jasper: Jump! Jump! (banging on the door)

Bennett: Do you just really want to go?

Jasper: Yeah.

Bennett: Mom, Jasper just really wants to go outside.

Mom: So sorry, it's too cold right now.

Bennett: Jasper, we can't go jump. It's too cold. Do you wanna come play cars with me instead?

Jasper: Yeah!

(and off they go)

----------

It's a sweet, miraculous time when your four-year-old can interpret for your almost two-year-old and essentially raise him for you. HA! LOVE IT!

(*side note* I am choosing for the moment to ignore/discount all other conversations they've had that end up in ridiculous antics such as fighting, crying, or screaming)

CLEANING HOUSE PART DUX

2011-01-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

Go ahead, ask me. Ask me if since joining up with Clean Mama's "January Cleaning Month," I've washed ALL the baseboards in our entire house, washed all the window sills, washed ALL the window panes inside and out (the window panes have never been done...not in the SEVEN years we've lived here...EEK, I know. We're totally disgusting) ,dusted the corners and ceilings of the whole house, and have made plans to touch up the baseboards with paint, deep clean the fridge and freezer, and cut back our front yard trees in the next couple of weeks. Holy Moly, we're in the midst of a cleaning frenzy over here! Michael thinks I'm crazy, but is oh-so-thankful for the insanity.

The basic update here is that Clean Mama's stuff is still working really well for me. I still love the adjustments I made to the schedule (like alternating days on wiping down the bathroom counters and sweeping the floors, rather than doing both every day), but man, this lady knows her cleaning stuff.

I also have to tell you about my new cleaning best friend. It's the new Rubbermaid Reveal Spray mop. It's red and you can find it at Target. It has a removable, washable pad, and the cleaner bottle that attaches to the mop is filled with whatever you want to use, rather than buying chemically stuff that costs an arm and a leg. So I use my organic cleaner that's diluted with water, and save a ton of money, as well as stay more green (which I'm becoming more and more convicted about these days...thinking about getting away from paper towels for the most part, too...intimidating thought!). It sprays right out of the top of the mop pad when you press a lever in the handle, and it has a genius swivel head that makes maneuvering around furniture, behind toilets, under cabinets, etc., a breeze, which I LOVE.

Anyhow, there's the nuts and bolts of cleaning at our house these days. If the system ever crashes and burns, I'll let you know. For now, I'm feeling good, feeling good.

JESUS WORKS AT MY BANK

2011-01-10T21:30:00.001-08:00

See, told ya. Gives me a brand new outlook on good stewardship.