Thursday, April 9, 2009


So I've been turning a lot of things around in my head recently (since it stopped swimming due to the major effort of trying to remember how to take care of a newborn :) ), and God has been putting a LOT of things on my heart to ponder - none of them really related all that much, and coming from lots of different arenas, but all on my heart, nonetheless. And since that's what this blog is for, here it goes:

1) I don't talk about God enough, which translates into the fact that I really don't think about Him enough, either. It pains me to say this, but it's also a good thing, because becoming aware of something is a HUGE start to fixing something/making it better. I've especially become aware of this because of Easter, but not just because "everyone needs to hear about Jesus, blah blah blah." Actually, this conviction came when, a couple of days ago, Bennett was talking about the Easter bunny and eggs and candy, and I thought, "Whoa, glad you're excited little dude, but where's the REAL reason at? I want you to know what Easter is REALLY all about." So we talked about it a bit (actually, I talked and Bennett stared at me with a comatose look on his face, but you've gotta start somewhere, and I believe strongly in planting seeds that later flourish). And as I talked I was also thinking, I do not talk to him about the reason behind things with God NEARLY enough. For those of you who know my little buddy or have heard me speak of him at length, you know that he's good to go as long as he has an explanation and understands the whens, wheres and whys behind things. And I thought, "Why on EARTH have I not been actively and purposely pursuing this with the most important thing he'll ever need to know?!" I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been intentional with filling my son with the knowledge of God. Yes, we read the Bible every night and pray at nap time, dinner time and bed time. Yes, I talk to him about how God wants us to obey and why we obey our parents. But that's been the extent of it pretty much, and God is SO MUCH BIGGER than all of that! That being said, in general I'd like to pursue more actively having conversations about my sweet Lord with my friends and loved ones, etc., but I especially want to be intentional about talking to B and J about Him. I know enough to know that it's more important to do this than my feeble human mind can wrap itself around and comprehend. And as if #1 wasn't heavy enough on it's own (when it rains, it pours in my neck of the woods :) ), now on to #2!

2) I NEVER thought I'd say this, and Michael and I haven't even discussed it because I'm still processing, digesting, thinking, etc....Of all things, I read a blog today talking about homeschooling, and this mom was talking about WHY she home schools her FOUR boys. Let me say first, I've heard MANY reasons inside and out about why people choose to do this, and I've known many people that I respect and admire who have chosen to do this. Nevertheless, I have always stuck to my decision that that was NOT the road our family would take and was not an option for me and my kiddos. I have many reasons for this, some of them personal, some spiritual, etc., but upon reading this blog, I was shocked to be truly touched and convicted and given something to really CHEW on when it comes to the decision to home school. Benito is only 2, so I've got plenty of time to decide, but frankly I'm shocked that I'm even considering it (NO offense AT ALL intended to those of you who choose to home school - in fact I admire you greatly. This was simply my personal decision, and now I'm rocked to find the possibility of changing my mind. It's a bizarre feeling). To sum it up (even though there's no way I'll do it justice), this blog mainly talked about our responsibility to teach our children everything we can about our God in heaven - to make Him known, to show our children the correct path, to equip them to be strangers in this world and to glorify God rather than succumbing to society, and how HUGE this is. It talked about how when a child starts going off to school, we suddenly have only 2-3 hours a day to make an impact, to off-set any negative things they've learned or put stock in, to continue knowing our children intimately, etc. TIME was this woman's #1 reason for home-schooling, and the reason hit home with me. In some ways, 18 years sounds like a LONG time to raise my children, but in other ways, it's no time at all. 2 1/2 years has FLOWN with my little buddy. Anyway, nobody needs to go gettin' their panties in a wad or what-not, just wanted to share and blog about these new feelings I'm having about the idea. I haven't even begun reconciling the hows and whos and my patience/tolerance level, etc. So as you can read, I've got lots to pray about!!

3) I think I'm going to write a book. I've been wanting to write a book (and have attempted several times) since I was in middle school, but more and more I can't get the thought out of my head. I have a main character, a plot, a hook, etc., so in my "spare" time (HA!), I'm going to plow away. I've become inspired and convicted, and I think I need a new outlet for creativity these days, so off I go. I'll let you know how/if/when it progresses to more than just an idea in my head, but actually becomes words, paragraphs and chapters on paper.

And there's a run-around inside my head for the day. Amazing. Mommies really do have lives, desires, goals and dreams apart from their burping, slurping, pooping, crazy babies and toddlers! (but don't be surprised if the next post is back to your normally scheduled program...i.e. more pictures and updates of my fellas...I can't help myself, I kinda like them :) ).


angela said...

It's funny that you mentioned the time thing with homeschooling. Jason and I were just talking about the other day. I was listening to KLTY the other evening and they had moms call in telling how fast their child's childhood had really gone and what would they have done differently if they had known what they know now. The majority of women mentioned charishing each moment and spending more time with their children. I came home and told Jason that I was more convinced than ever that we made the right choice to homeschool. I don't want to look back someday and wish I had not taken for granted the little time we have with them as children. Homeschooling is by no means the easiest thing in the world, but it is a lot easier than I thought it would be. If God has called you to this, He will definitely lead you through it. As far as patience and tolerence go, I find that to be as much of an issue when you are with them everyday. Our toughest days are when Alex as spent half the day with her grandparents, my sister, or friends. We had the hardest discipline issues on Tuesday and Thursdays when she went to MDO!
Sorry its so long, but it took a lot of words to say what I wanted to say :) Just pray about it and God will lead you in the right direction!

Summer and Jason said...

Great thoughts...I have thought all of those same things at one time or another. I can't wait to read your book...I bet you'll do a great job at that seeing as how you read ALL THE TIME! :-) Happy Easter, friend!