JUGGLING

I've been quiet on the blog-front in part because I don't know how to write about everything that's been spinning around in my head lately, and in part because blogging about random things in my life is starting to feel a bit...pointless and fruitless again. Maybe I'm just going through the same cycle or phase I went through last time I felt disillusioned by life and surrounding issues, but I feel a bit overwhelmed again, and don't really feel like taking the time to write it all out. Lists seem to be the way of things these days because they help simplify and get things spit out a whole lot quicker than rambling on for paragraphs at a time. So that's what you'll get, and maybe I'll get a clearer head in the process (we can only hope)....(fair warning: the following list is completely random and unorganized):

1. I'm starting to get pretty frustrated because I've apparently been a real smarty by going and majorly bruising the bones in the bottom of my foot AGAIN (also did this last summer the same way - walking barefoot all morning at the water park...who knew?), and have been out of commission, as in flat on my butt on the couch all day, for three days now, with no significant improvement. I had plans to potty-train Bennett, plans to do some major cleaning in the kitchen, plans to continue working on my summer projects, etc. Truthfully, I think this was God's way of saying, "For Pete's sake, SIT down, take a breath, and COOL it!" (I confess I've been over-working and over-stressing myself lately, with some invisible bar to top and some invisible ladder to climb, that no one else cares about except me). So I'm trying to take it all in stride, accept the God-given break, and be patient. But it's hard to do.

2. What is the point of the zoo having free train rides every Monday in June, when half of those Mondays, the train is C-L-O-S-E-D?! And how annoying is it that I keep promising my buddy a ride on that train, only to recant and try to explain why Mommy is a total party-pooper. Blah.

3. We don't have cable, so during my afternoon feeding with Jasper, when watching TV, I have a choice between Dr. Phil or Ellen. Ellen is hilarious, but on principle I don't usually watch her. However, Dr. Phil went trash-iffic on me one day a week or two ago, so I flipped over to Ellen to see what hilarity was ensuing on that particular day. Lo and behond, she had her wife on the show with her, which was very awkward to watch. For those of you who don't know, her wife is a model/actress/TV show hostess. My mom and I were talking about this today, and I was saying how I don't understand one particular thing about homosexuality. Maybe all couples that choose this lifestyle aren't this way, but the ones I've known or known of, seem to consist of both a "male" and "female" figure (in other words, one is clearly masculine and one is clearly more feminine). My question is, if this is necessary and still has to be defined within this type of relationship, why can't it just be heterosexual in the first place? Now, I'm not dumb or naive. I know there's a lot more that goes into the issue than who plays man and who plays woman....but it seems a little contradictory, and I'm not really sure I understand the necessity....not that it matters, not that it has any bearing on the seriousness of the subject, or changes anything. It was just an interesting thought, food for thought if you will.

4. A Victoria's Secret commercial just came on TV, and I'm wondering why they're always so akin to porn? It's women who wear the stuff, right? So why on EARTH are they practically naked? Are the women supposed to think, "Dude, if I wear that, I'll look like a walking-stick bug with huge boobs, too!" ? Are the men supposed to think about how their wives will look in that stuff, rather than the woman already there blatantly flashing him on TV? I don't think soooo....In case you were wondering, I do NOT shop there.

5. On a brighter note, I'm still losing weight. I've lost three more pounds since the last time I wrote, which is less than I'd like, but is definitely progress. I've got 5 more to be at pre-pregnancy weight, and 10 to be where I'd really feel terrific and fit awesomely into everything stitch of clothing I own. And I owe an apology to everyone I scoffed at that said it's harder to lose the baby weight with the second baby. So sad, so true. I offer my sincerist, humblest apologies. I'm having to work harder this time around than I've ever had to work. But man it feels good to get on that scale and see I've lost another pound, and to feel my jeans buttoning withOUT the doughnut ring around the top :)

6. Projects I'm currently working on: my book (which is a little blocked and frozen right now, due to my weakness at writing dialogue...I'm more of a narrator kinda gal, but eventually people have to talk, right? :) ).....updating both boys' pictures on shutterfly so family can order and I can get all scrapbooking and photo albums good to go.....finishing Bennett's photo album up to now.....begin Jasper's first year scrapbook and baby book.....organizing my old journals which have been up in the attic for years (they're a hoot and a half, let me tell ya - dating back all the way to 8th grade - HA!). All of these, aside from the book, are summer projects, so we'll see.

7. Bennett is 2 1/2 now, and Jasper is 3 months, which is crazy. It goes without saying, we're so blessed with these boys. I'm amazed everyday. They're beautiful and I'm trying to absorb it all, remember it all, and delight in it all. This is such a precious, quickly passing stage of life. I. LOVE. IT. I'm also amazed at how much they already love each other, and how easily Jasper has become a part of our family that was always missing. He completes exactly what we should be right now, and I'm glad God knew what we needed and wanted, even before we did. The Lord is so good and so faithful. The way He makes things unfold is just beautiful to watch.

8. I LOVE to read and typically read a steady stream on a regular basis, but my sources for good authors and books and series are drying up. Anybody have any good suggestions? I'd rather not resort to trash and cheaply written junk out of desperation. Any good authors or series anybody just loves or used to love? Any and all suggestions are appreciated!

9. I seriously need to work on encouraging other people. I used to be a pro at this and thought about it all the time, writing notes, sincerely complimenting others, etc., but that was years ago. I've really let it go by the wayside I'm ashamed to say. This is shameful because a) I feel encouraged by others on a regular basis, but fail to give back, and b) I think encouraging things in my head about people ALL the time, but rarely voice them anymore, then later I think "I should've actually told them that out loud!" So I'm praying about that and trying to make it a habit again.

And that's all I've got right now...whew. I really do feel a little more light-headed (in a good way). So thanks for reading and giving me a minute to unload the randomness.