Saturday, October 3, 2009


Here's our world in a nutshell right now...

**First, let me say that I'm doing much better. Thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts and encouragement! I had to make a difficult decision to give up a couple of things I was involved in and really enjoyed, one being teaching a class at church, and the other, taking a semester long hiatus from praise team. I really didn't want to give up either one, but God had been leading me for a little over a month to clear out some things and simplify. I was completely overwhelmed and way over-committed to too many things - even though they were all good things, there were still too many. I was doing a great job at being less than mediocre at just about everything. So now, even though I'm sad about the loss of the things I've had to clear out, I'm also very relieved, and feeling much more peaceful. Michael is pretty relieved to have his wife back, too :)

**I've continued revolutionizing in several areas of my life, as I've felt led by the Lord. I've been getting up at the butt-crack of dawn (5:50am) every morning for three weeks now to walk a mile and a half. I felt God calling me to practice discipline and commitment to something simple and enjoyable, and with something that would start my day with Him. I feel wonderful about it, and really proud that I've kept it up, rain or shine, tired or not. After a week of doing this, two weeks ago I added the doozy of a calling that I've been convicted of, which is hard to confess, but I really believe I should be honest about: I'm far too dependent on food, and I like it way too much. It's been a comfort and a trigger for me that's not healthy for most of my life, and God doesn't want this for me. So I prayed and did some reading and research and came across a book that I'm trying to follow, which is about abstaining from trigger foods and foods that are made to be addictive, including fats, sugars, and finely processed wheats. So for the past two weeks I've been eating lean protein, veggies out the ears, certain fruits, and skimmed or non-fat dairy products. It's taking me hours a week of extra cooking, it's more expensive (there are several things I get from the health food store, and fresh produce is costly), and I'm currently trying to find more variety because I'm bored stiff with salad, but I feel better, I feel free, my energy is up, and I'm losing more weight (as in 5 lbs. in two weeks so far - a definite perk). I'm committed to doing this for a full month before re-inventorying and taking stock, and although I'm pretty sure I'll be altering my meal plan a bit at some point and making modifications that work for me, for now this is the deal, and once again, it feels so good and so empowering to do something by the power of Christ in me, that He's calling me to and leading me in.
And interestingly enough, I have been attacked by Satan and discouraged and beat down by him more in these past two weeks than I have ever before in my life, so I know this is a big battle, and that it's one God wants me to keep fighting. So I will. (And I know I didn't explain this all just terrifically, but that's the basic gist of it).

**I love watching Bennett change and evolve from a baby into a toddler, and now more and more into a child - a kid - who's more aware of his surroundings, more able to understand, and more inquisitive about things I love teaching him. He went through a short phase of being scared of monsters, where he would open his closet door to keep the lights on at night, but after a week or so, before a nap one day, I said, "You're a smart boy. You know there aren't any monsters. You know they're just pretend." He smiled and said, "Yeah, I know. And God protects me." And that was the end of it. No more nightmares, no more need for closet lights.

Every night when we pray, we have him tell us three things he wants to pray about, and for a while now it's been requests to pray for Jesus, for monsters, and for the tractors and Mater (from the movie "Cars"). Funny boy. I love the innocence and watching his faith unfold. He often talks about how he wants to see Jesus and play with Him. Love it.

**Jasper's neck and muscles keep getting better and better. I was so surprised and excited when he started sitting up by himself for short periods of time a week or two ago, and about a week ago he started getting up on all fours and lunging forward a little bit. Because of the torticollis, I really wasn't expecting him to develop on track physically, but he is so far :) Thank You, Lord! We're still doing our exercises and physical play that helps strengthen him, and still going to our pediatric chiropractor once a month to move it all along, but it's all going so well, and we are blessed. Jasper is such a sweet, happy baby. He rarely complains about anything, and when he does, it's with these growls that make the rest of us laugh because they're so mild and cute sounding. The only time he seriously lets loose and cries is when he's sick, or when he's in his car seat and he's sleepy (he can't stand his car seat).

**Man, I'm loving this weather. God was genius with the way He created the seasons. Fall is my favorite, hands down. It feels like everything breathes a little easier and flows in harmony in the fall. We're soaking it all in by playing at the park, creating sidewalk chalk masterpieces, going for walks, kicking the soccer ball and swinging out back, etc. Beautiful. In leiu of the weather, I hit the JBF sale this week and finished up the boys' cold weather wardrobes, and this weekend I started clearing out their summer clothes and hanging up the new ones. I love sweaters and sweatshirts and wool hats and mittens. Doesn't get much better :) I've dropped the ball on decorating, but I'm hoping to remedy that tomorrow by getting down our box from the attic and at the very least putting our fall wreath on the front door.

**I'm wondering what everyone's doing for Halloween this year. I feel totally lost about it because our church isn't doing their usual shin dig. Anybody have some amazing plans or ideas with your kiddos? I'd love to hear about it.


Megan said...

I haven't commented in forever, but I keep up with every post you publish. I prayed for you and your thoughts in the last post, and it sounds like God is getting his way with you. Stay strong. You are a wonderful mother from the way things sound. One of these days our paths will cross again and my 2 girls can play with your two boys. Ana G is 2.5 years and Maggie is 2.5 months. We have a lot in common in that regard. God bless you as you continue to seek Him every day.
Tell Michael hello from the McKinzies.