All of you here know by now that I like to keep it real and be honest. So here it is.
Today was hard. I mean hard with a Capital H. I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't looking for it, it didn't start out that way, but that's the way it was, all the same.
It was emotionally grueling and difficult, and it was painful today. This was my first day here to feel things so strongly, to cry for a long time, to experience the difficulty of what we are doing.
But it was also a good, humble reminder of how much I need God to do this job. I need the Lord - His wisdom, His strength, His peace, His love - continuously, daily. I am dependent on Him to give me the words to say to all of my kids, to mold them to be more like Jesus, to discern when to speak and when to listen.
For the most part, this job of being a mom to so many is wonderfully rewarding and fulfilling. But today it was just tough and tiring. I know I'll have many more days like this to come, but I also know there is nowhere else I'd rather be, and nothing else I'd rather be doing, and no one else I'd rather be doing it with. There is comfort and peace in that knowledge.