JUNK

I feel so overwhelmed and discouraged right now. I don't feel like this often, and especially not to this degree. I cannot remember a time in my life when I've had a week this hard, which sounds dramatic, but there are so many things going that I can't even keep track of anymore. I could list all of the reasons why, but don't really have the energy. I'm worn out, spent, and don't feel like I have another ounce of myself to give. I'm not even sure when or how I'll begin to be replenished, and there's not really an end in sight, which is also disheartening. The weird thing is, I haven't even been able to cry. I wish I could - it's always been a good release and helped me feel better in the end. Instead, I just feel sad and totally in over my head. And I feel very alone in it.

I know these feelings aren't from God. I know this sadness and discouragement will pass. I know most if not all of it is happening due to the growth and change the Lord is inspiring and bringing about in my life - that I'm being attacked head on. But right now it beyond stinks. I guess I don't have all that much endurance because a week of this junk has whipped me and kicked my butt. I'm clinging to the old saying, "It can't get any worse," and hoping it's true in my case. Next week should surely be better than this one.

It's made me feel a tiny bit better just to write this stuff down. Hopefully I'll have some cutie-pie pictures or stories or whatever to share next time.