COMING UP

Coming up next:

1. Proof positive that God is active and present.

2. A Fan or a Follower.

3. Kitchen Cabinets (with pictures).

4. The Adventures of B and J.

5. New Master Bath Shower (with pictures).

6. Bennett's True Love.

7. An Apple a Day.

8. Secret Santa.

9. BIG News.

THANK YOU'S AND CABINETS

Thank you, my dear sweet friends. To those of you who have written, called, and reached out, and to those of you who have done silent, quiet things in the background, like lifting my name up before the Father without me even knowing. Thank you. I have felt loved and encouraged this week, and it means a great deal. Words are powerful, and the words and time you have shared to help me out a bit this week have been so well-timed and full of grace and love. Blessings on you and on your families for being the hands and feet of Jesus to silly, emo me :).

I have felt spurred on and encouraged to really get back in the Word and talk to God about the things going on in my life, and although there is still so much silence and uncertainty, and I'm still having a hard time, my heart is feeling lighter just knowing there are people like you He has placed in my life, just because He loves me. God uses His people to take care of each other, and I have been the grateful recipient this time.

On a little bit lighter note that is definitely needed/wanted, I am finally doing it. You know. It. The dreaded, long-awaited, much-anticipated, scary, hairy, BFHP (Big Fat Hairy Project).

The Kitchen Cabinets.

I'm so sceered! But it must be done, and I need a distraction. I have the primer, the paint, the paint sprayer, the foam rollers, the super nice paint brush that will help coats go on better (hopefully, fingers crossed!), the cabinets have been cleaned like crazy with Goo Gone, and this weekend I am sanding them. EEK! We shall see, we shall see. I'm going to take "before" pictures today, so I can be sure to post before and afters when I'm all done. But don't count on that happening for at least two weeks (maybe three or four - this is going to be a BEAST!).

And it must be said, I must be some kinda crazy, because Michael and my dad are currently involved in the FIFTH Saturday of redoing our master bathroom shower (poor guys!). So we're about to have TWO BFHP's going on at the same time (because it's going to be at least another two weeks before they're done - thanks Dad, thanks Honey, you guys are A-MAZING). Yikes.

Peace and Blessings and Love to you all,

HIT HARD

I'm having my doubts that anyone actually reads this blog anymore, which is okay since I write it mostly for me and my kiddos, and for family, but for anyone still hanging around who has been around for a while, you know I like to tell it like it is. And I have to say - like it is? Well, it's rough right now. That's probably why I've been so quiet on the blog-front lately. How do you say stuff like this without being a Debbie Downer, or feeling faithless? It's taken me some time to get up the guts to write this post, but maybe writing it will let someone else out there know they're not alone either.

You know when everything just feels flipped upside-down in life, like nothing is what it's supposed to be? Or when you feel like you're invisible, or just not all that significant? Or when things just are not going the way you planned or thought they would? It's a tough, humbling way to feel, and I've been in a rut where everything just feels off for several weeks now. It's pretty normal for me to feel this way for a day or two every few months, but this...this is kicking my tail. I just can't seem to shake it. And to go for broke and be completely honest, I just haven't been in the Word like I need to be. So I don't have the peace and the reminders that usually bring so much strength. I feel like God is silent right now, like I can't reach Him, and that's hard, too. So I'm wandering aimlessly, arms stretched out, reaching for something to hold onto, and I'm just having a hard time finding my anchor, you know?

I'm well aware this isn't happy, bubbly blog material, but it's the honest truth, and as I've always tried to be transparent about who I am, how I'm doing, and what I'm up to, I'll try to do it again today.

I haven't been myself lately - I've been in quite a funk, actually. A No Fun Funk. It really stinks when you find out that life really isn't fair, doesn't it? It stinks when friends aren't the friends you thought they were. It stinks when you discover you've become a disappointment to someone else yourself. It stinks when plans fall apart, when the poop hits the fan, when you feel like you have no control over your life, when more stuff happens to you than you feel you have the emotional stores to handle, when you feel like nobody cares, when it feels like your prayers are ricocheting off the ceiling...man, it's tough.

But even in this, and even though God seems far away from me right now, I know that's not really true. He loves me too much to let go of me. My name is written on His hand, and He has walked a mile in my shoes. His Word and His Spirit are gifts to remind me I am never alone, and I'm never unloved. So even in times like these, I will still say Blessed be the name of the Lord, because He is good and right and true. He is faithful and good and genuine. He never fails, He always prevails, and He is in it to win it, right here with me. And I will say thank you, God, for being my Rock, especially when I really, really need one, like now.

When I come out of this funk of all funks, I will be able to look back on this and say, "Yes, God brought me out of that, just like He brought me out of all the things before it. And when I feel the funkiness come around again, I can trust and know that He will bring me out of it again, over and over and over again, because that's who God is, and that's what He does." Praise Him.

FOUR MAN BAND

(Alternate Heading: "What Happens When Your Mother-in-Law Comes to Town")

Michael started this insanity a couple of days ago when he started "playing" Bennett like a guitar. Tonight, the infectious nature of Nanna's laughter (she's here for a week long visit) inspired us to expand Michael's musicality into a four man band. If you can't tell exactly what's happening, Michael and I are taking turns picking different instruments and "playing" the boys :). Good times, good times.

HAPPY SUMMER

Can't really provide a "Happy 4th" slew of pictures because I was home with my poor Jasper John, who is in the midst of his third day of a nasty stomach bug. Michael and Bennett went on to my parents' house for the cook out/swimming fun with the rest of my extended family, but me and my little red head hung out at home and took it easy so no one else would catch the yuckiness. In leu of July 4th pictures, I'll post some random ones from what we've been up to over the past 2-3 months. Happy Summer!

B in time out, J trying to be like his big brother :)

Shimmy Shake. Nope, we haven't outgrown it yet.

Found this treasure on a curb for FREE = one happy two year old.

Rub a dub dub, two little stinkers in their tubs.

Jasper trying to sneak out of his doctor check-up. If Bennett had realized what was coming, he would have run away, too. Poor guy had his four year old check-up with FOUR shots. Ick.

Headed to the water park with my fellas.

My two favorite red heads. LOOOVE this picture.

(alternate caption: Michael and his Mini Me)

Me and my Benito. My mom took this picture because our profiles are the same :).

This boy LOVES him some choo-choos.

(at our children's museum)