Friday, November 14, 2008

Thank you

I want to say a very heartfelt thank you to all of you who have called, e-mailed or approached me to let me know you understand, that you've been there, or that you are there now. It has made me feel so loved and so encouraged. It's also made me think, "Then why doesn't everybody have best-friends running around all over the place if a ton of us feel this way at some point or another?!"

Maybe life after college, also referred to as "real life" or "the adult world," is just different, and none of us really know how to adjust and adapt to making life-long friendships after the change. I don't know, but in the past few days and with the feedback and prayers I've received, I really feel like it's not my job to be a people pleaser or a friend maker, as I said before, but it is still my job to love other people, whether they love me back the way I'd like or not. So I've decided I'll keep serving and loving on others and doing the best I can, but without playing games or expecting anything in return. Such a basic Christian principle, but seems to get lost in the scramble...for me anyway :) And I really want to be done with focusing so hard on "making friends." I'll just work to be the definition of a friend to others, and trust God with my relationships here on earth. I know I'll get discouraged again - that's the way of life and of the one who rules this earth until Jesus comes again - but I don't have to lose heart or forget my true purpose.

Okay, done with the self-given pep talk. Let me say one more time: THANK YOU to all of you who reached out to me this week. It truly did mean more than you know and helped me get some healthy perspective going again.

That being said, I also have to say that I am SO thankful for what a good friend Michael has been to me through my struggles with this. We weren't always like this - able to talk about things and to feel really secure with each other, and pretty much just hang out and be pals and confidants, but God has brought us so far, and this man I live with is so supportive and loving. His birthday was on Wednesday, and it just lit up my heart to see him enjoying his special day and to go out of my way to try to make that happen, because since we've been delivered and have been on the road to healing, this man has been changed from the inside out and is so good to me. We have major and minor bumps and bruises like everyone, but Michael is a man serving the Lord and looking to Him to know how to love me, and it shows. So I wanted to publicly honor and proclaim his hard work and leadership, and our friendship, which is vitally important and the place where it all begins. No matter what my other friendships are like, in our home, I have a dear friend who loves me and truly wants what is best for me. Praise God for His hope, for His goodness, and for His faithfulness, for blessing me beyond my imagination or belief, and for giving me the friend I've asked for and waited to have for years.

End of gush and mush. I declare the next few future posts "gush" free...unless something gush-worthy pops up, in which case I reneg on my declaration...since this is my blog and all :)