A NEW CREATION

Yes, I have drastically altered my page, as you can see.

I found this template and fell in love with it. It's so symbolic and represents the way I've been feeling lately, and the things God is doing in my life right now.

Without trying to be too sappy or annoying, but holding to the desire to be truthful and blunt (but also pretty vague, this time around), the Lord and me are in a wrestling, hugging, warfare, eye-opening process of setting me free from a lot of junk that just has no business hanging around. There are skeletons in my closet and dust-bunnies under the bed of my soul and spirit that should've been dealt with and spring-cleaned quite a long time ago, my friends.

And God, in His wisdom, faithfulness and perfect timing, has chosen this time of my life, for reasons only He knows, to get down to business with yours truly.

So here's to the music of me and all that entails, whether it be the seasons of rain and stormy weather, or the kind I'm in right now, which resembles and feels like I'm smack dab in the middle of a typhoon...but a pleasant one, somehow, and one I've been waiting for most of my life.

Here's to freedom, to openness, to boldness, and to the beauty of feeling absolutely lovely in your very own skin, simply because it's the skin God made just for you.

And for the vast majority of you who have NO idea what I'm going on about, that's A-okay. Thanks for being my friend (and a fabulous one, at that) anyway.

THE STINKER

I have a Passive Aggressive Pooper in my house.
What is that, you may ask?

It's when a two-year old, who's fully potty trained aside from the daunting #2, absolutely refuses to do that particular business on the potty. Instead, he lies in wait for the opportunity to hide and go in his super-fab Lightning McQueen underwear. Like today, when we rushed to the potty six different times because he needed to go, then when he got there, he cried and moaned and begged to get down, go play, etc. And what did he do when he went to his room for independent play/nap time? You guessed it, my amazingly intelligent friends. He pooped in his underwear and stunk up the whole room. Awesome.

So, we'll try again tomorrow (because I usually only get one shot a day). *sigh*

But all in all, I must say my bud is doing stinkin' awesome with potty training. He tells me every time he needs to go, even when he's at a friend's house having a blast. He stays dry during nap time, and he's now staying dry during the night. This is going a lot more smoothly than I thought it would, for which I give thanks.

So pretty much we're rockin' the potty....aside from the passive aggressive poop. The Stinker. :)

P.S. If anybody has any poop advice, feel free to pass it on.

GROWING PAINS

I thought it'd be simpler to post here since not everybody knows what's going on with my little guy and several have asked.

Jasper is a bit over 5 months old, and for the most part, things are great and he's developmentally right on track. He babbles, laughs, picks up objects and brings them to his mouth, rolls over from tummy to back and back to tummy, props up on his elbows, etc etc. He cut two teeth at four months old and he's a champion eater, gobbling down his cereal from day one when we started about a week ago - this is great because he's starting to put on more weight, which was a slight concern early on.
There is, however, a downside with my sweet J. At his four month check-up, he was diagnosed with a neck muscle condition called torticollis. This inhibits the movement on the right side of his neck because the muscle is clenched. They believe it occured (as it does in most cases) in utero, being in a cramped position. Since then, we've been taking him to our pediatric chiropractor to do exercises and what-not. He has GREATLY improved in the last month, and we are really encouraged by this, but of course it stinks to know that there's something wrong with your baby and something that's making him uncomfortable. Because of this condition, his major milestones, like sitting up, crawling, etc. will be delayed by a month or two. Everything we've researched indicates the muscles should be pretty much normal and healed by 10-12 months of age. Until then, there are exercises and little play things we do everyday to strengthen and lengthen the muscle.
I was telling Michael last night how frustrated I was that our baby has this problem, because it only happens in about 2% of all babies, but he said something that made me re-think my pity-party real quick. He said, "Praise God that he has this and not some other 2% disease that cripples him or lasts forever, or even takes his life." Whew, that shut me up SUPER fast. Perspective is a huge eye-opener. So we're praying for his healing with thanksgiving for all of the Lord's blessings with our family and our sweet baby.
I'd really appreciate prayers for his healing. I catch myself worrying about it, and remind myself that God knows my baby and all the inner workings of his little body. He is fearfully and wonderfully made!

In other Jasper news:

--Yes, he's essentially a mini-Michael. Looks just like him. I. Love. It.
--He took his first swim last week in Mimi's pool. He was NOT a fan - too bright and slippery out there :)

So that's the deal with my other little pal. And here are some photos to go along with it:


Right after we had the problem diagnosed, around 4 months old.


Don't like this picture of him, but it shows how much he's improved in the past month since going to the chiropractor and doing our exercises. His head starts to droop when the muscle gets tired, but he's doing SO much better!




Maxin' and relaxin' with brother's Lamby.


"Say wha--?" (This picture is one of my absolute favorites so far)


Having a little chat...they're already conspiring.


Very first taste. Not a fan.


Are you kidding me, Mom?


Hmmm...this is actually kinda yummy.


Tummy is happy, I'm happy.


He kept his eyes closed the whole time. We were out there a total of about two minutes. I love the picture, though :)

BECAUSE HE'S TWO

1. I call Jasper "Jasper John" most of the time these days, and Bennett has followed suit. He sings the name and yells it in his brother's face all day long. And now Bennett has changed his favorite stuffed animal's name in honor of his brother. "Lamby" is now...."Lamby John." heehee, love this kid.



2. I went in to get Bennett up this morning and found him standing in front of his blinds, washing his window with half a bottle of Germ-X. Awesome. And in case you were wondering - yes, Germ-X is quite effective at getting those windows shiny, sparkling clean, although the smell is quite strong.

BLOG-WORTHY

I finally have a few things to share that I feel are blog-worthy. So here's the first...

Michael and I are total dorks, and we like it that way.

While discussing how we wanted to celebrate our 6th anniversary, he jokingly suggested going to Six Flags, and I said, "YESSS!" It sounded like such a fun idea, we hadn't been since we were dating, the discounts are awesome right now, and it was a change from the typical dinner and a movie. He thought it was hilarious that I actually wanted to go, but humored me.

We dropped the kiddos off at my parents' house on Sunday and headed out. First, let me say that the trip was great fun and I'm so glad we went. Second, here are the observations made from our little celebration:

1. Some rides seem a lot smaller now than they did years ago, and some seem a lot bigger (and scarier :) ).

2. The Texas Giant is not as much fun as I remember it being (it was always my favorite). I was amazed to find my teeth all in their original places when the ride ended, and I'm sporting some new bruises on my arms from slamming around in the car.

3. People watching is more fun now than ever. And man, were there some people worth watching :)

4. This place is crazy-ridiculous on how they try to leech money off of you. You pay for the tickets, you pay for parking (unless you park behind a nearby restaurant and hope they don't tow your car - hee :) ), you pay out the butt for a bottle of water, not to mention the food (which we refused to do), and the games, t-shirts, souveneirs, etc etc are insane. I understand my parents' perspective now.

5. That was definitely our last time to go without our kiddos. For me, it'll be a lot more fun going with our family when the boys are older and I can watch them enjoy it all.

6. I can't walk nearly as long or excitedly as I used to :)

7. I used to want to win one of those gigantic stuffed animals from the rip-off games SO badly when I was little. So it was funny to realize this time how truly unlikely it is to actually get one, and that even if you do, it's MISERABLE because you have to carry the thing around the park in the hot sun the rest of the day. Not to mention that it's a piece of crap you have no use for in the first place. But it was lots of fun and really cute watching kids wanting that stuff and trying for it as hard as I did years ago...and also a little foreboding to think about our kids begging us for it someday. Oy vey.

8. Perspective and hind sight are beautiful things. Somebody should learn how to bottle it, and then we could all take it in healthy doses a little earlier. Of course, then we'd miss out on the opportunity to laugh at ourselves later :)


While we were at Six Flags, we decided we had to ride six rides (in celebration of our six years), and then we brainstormed how we could celebrate year seven and year eight in the future:

Year Seven: drink 77 oz. of 7-Up (because that's less than 7 bottles) while watching either 7 episodes of 7th Heaven from the 7th season (YIKES) or the Magnificent Seven (probably what we'll do), and get somebody to watch our kids so we can have an entire day of rest (you know, because God rested on the 7th day and all).

Year Eight: Go see the 8 Wonders of the World (yeah, right), learn to play Crazy Eights....and that's all we've got so far for this one - it needs a little work.

We only got through years seven and eight because the lines weren't very long for any of the rides. We anticipate being married far longer :)


After Six Flags, we went out to eat and rented a couple of movies, grabbed some Ben & Jerry's ice cream, and relaxed the night away. It was fantastic.


And finally, because it's better late than never, here are 6 things I love about my husband (and although this idea is most certainly NOT original, it's heartfelt and good for both of us, I think):

1. He plays and interacts with our boys all the time, and they ADORE him. It's a beautiful thing to watch.

2. He truly, truly wants to please me, and he works so hard to show me love and meet my needs.

3. He listens and is gentle with my emotions and hurt feelings, which goes a LOOONG way to resolve most of the conflict we have. He's definitely better at this than I am.

4. He takes care of the boys at the drop of a hat, whether it be an appointment, a Girl's Night Out, special occasion, etc. He's always willing and so supportive about helping with them. I know a lot of husbands do this, but I know a lot of them don't, so I'm very thankful for this.

5. He is daily searching himself and seeking God to grow, become a better husband and father, etc. A lot of people say this flippantly or in passing about others, but it's absolutely true about Michael. He's in the Word every day, he meets with others for accountability, he makes sure to set aside time every week to talk with me about how we're doing and how he's doing, etc.

6. He is such a hard worker and a WONDERFUL provider for our family. We are blessed by God because he has a job he loves, but Michael is always looking for extra things here and there to make it possible for us to live comfortably and for me and the boys to have all we need, and a lot of what we want. He sacrifices a lot of time and energy for teaching and for going to school himself, so that he can keep on being the provider of our home and so the boys can have me stay home with them.


Thank you Lord for how far you've brought us, for the way you've held us close, for the things you've taught us about ourselves and each other that have brought us closer to You and closer to each other!

I believe that soon I will be ready with words that will begin to do justice to Michael and I's testimony of our relationship, which I believe is important to share, and glorifies God by doing so, so stay tuned for that somewhere in the near future.

THIS WORLD IS NOT MY HOME

When I was in high school, I was one super-cool chick, and I got a pack of those little glow in the dark stickers that you can put on your ceiling, so that at night, it looks like you're sleeping under the stars (or at least, that's the supposed effect). Instead of spreading them all over my ceiling, I wrote a message with them that I'd look up and see every night as a reminder: This world is not my home.

I'm very aware of the truth of those words right now. My heart has been heavy and burdened for a few days. There is so much pain and heartache going on in several of my friends' lives, and in some of these cases, I'm able to empathize at a very personal level. This is part of the fellowship of the church - the way Jesus intended it - to feel and help carry our brothers' and sisters' burdens. But right now, with all of this pain and mourning and struggle, I'm reminded more than anything else that this is not where we belong, and I am so thankful for this truth.

As much as I'm loving this life with my husband and my boys, my family and friends, I've also been at a place in my life where I hurt so badly, I felt like I couldn't hardly breathe, let alone function normally in everyday life, and I know it's possible/probable that other extremely painful things will come and go again. Satan truly is the prince of this world, and I'm a fool if I let myself forget it. He's the father of lies, no doubt. But even in the midst of this, I'm able to cling to my one true hope, the truth we have in this life: this life is fleeting (though it doesn't feel that way when our guts are wrenching), and this will pass. We have a promise and a hope and a lovely, perfect place, filled with lovely, perfect people waiting for us someday. Amazing.

So while I pray for these people and try to help with other burdens (which I feel blessed and honored to do), I remember that there is something better and more beautiful waiting for them and for me, even if it doesn't get any better here (although, in most cases, I believe that it will, but even if it doesn't, how good God is to give us His promises and hope to cling to). And I praise God for His goodness, because where other people and circumstances are not always good - and sometimes they stink and rot like a heap of garbage, truth be told - God is always good. His mercies are new every morning, His love never fails, and He knows my inner most thoughts and desires and cares deeply about it all, even the silly stuff. That helps my head hit the pillow much more peacefully at night.

...Not really sure how to end this post, or what the main objective or point is, but I wanted to put the thoughts out there. Thanks for reading. And to the dear people reading this that are hurting, I say a prayer for you, asking the Holy Spirit to intercede where others' words and intentions fail and fall short. I'm so glad God is God for me and for you.

KICKIN' IT

Here are bits of randomness we've been up to lately, in picture-walk form, as a true Kindergarten teacher would have it :) ....


I come to get Bennett up from his nap and find him here lecturing all of his little friends about the important "do's" and "don'ts" in our house. Funny boy.


We attempted another trip to the zoo with our buddies, but have since called those efforts quits because it's just too stressful right now...at least I tried!...And Bennett sure enjoyed running a-muck with his friend, Cason :)


Celebrated Flag Day (never even knew there was such a thing until I had a kid who is obsessed with them) with cupcakes and our flag bathing suit. Doesn't get much better than that, eh, Benito?


Visited Mimi and Poppy and got some super cute pictures, swimming, and grilled hamburgers out of the deal. Sweet.


Went to Summer Spectacular - our VBS on steroids - which was, in fact.....spectacular!
(Bennett was actually quite ecstatic about the whole production, though you wouldn't know it from the picture)


Jasper John turned three months old, which is quite an accomplishment if you ask me. To celebrate, I took him to have his pictures made ("Thanks a bunch for that experience, Mom," he says.), which ended up being an all day affair since the cool lady forgot to turn on her flash for the first round.


Bennett re-defined the phrase "pick up your toys" by interpreting the words literally.


Of his own desire and choosing, my son decided to dust-bust the entire main area of our house - Glory be! This is him pausing to clean up his kitchen as well.


Bennett took Jasper grocery shopping. You're looking at a patient, patient baby.


The boys had a little chat.


Jasper's sprouting some chubbier cheeks. Ah, fat babies - how I do adore thee :)


We celebrated a Fabulous Father's Day. Man oh man, Michael sure is a great Daddy to our boys. They are so blessed, and someday they'll really know it. I know it and reap the benefits now :) We sure do love you, hon!

....And that's how we been kickin' it here, my friends :)

JUGGLING

I've been quiet on the blog-front in part because I don't know how to write about everything that's been spinning around in my head lately, and in part because blogging about random things in my life is starting to feel a bit...pointless and fruitless again. Maybe I'm just going through the same cycle or phase I went through last time I felt disillusioned by life and surrounding issues, but I feel a bit overwhelmed again, and don't really feel like taking the time to write it all out. Lists seem to be the way of things these days because they help simplify and get things spit out a whole lot quicker than rambling on for paragraphs at a time. So that's what you'll get, and maybe I'll get a clearer head in the process (we can only hope)....(fair warning: the following list is completely random and unorganized):

1. I'm starting to get pretty frustrated because I've apparently been a real smarty by going and majorly bruising the bones in the bottom of my foot AGAIN (also did this last summer the same way - walking barefoot all morning at the water park...who knew?), and have been out of commission, as in flat on my butt on the couch all day, for three days now, with no significant improvement. I had plans to potty-train Bennett, plans to do some major cleaning in the kitchen, plans to continue working on my summer projects, etc. Truthfully, I think this was God's way of saying, "For Pete's sake, SIT down, take a breath, and COOL it!" (I confess I've been over-working and over-stressing myself lately, with some invisible bar to top and some invisible ladder to climb, that no one else cares about except me). So I'm trying to take it all in stride, accept the God-given break, and be patient. But it's hard to do.

2. What is the point of the zoo having free train rides every Monday in June, when half of those Mondays, the train is C-L-O-S-E-D?! And how annoying is it that I keep promising my buddy a ride on that train, only to recant and try to explain why Mommy is a total party-pooper. Blah.

3. We don't have cable, so during my afternoon feeding with Jasper, when watching TV, I have a choice between Dr. Phil or Ellen. Ellen is hilarious, but on principle I don't usually watch her. However, Dr. Phil went trash-iffic on me one day a week or two ago, so I flipped over to Ellen to see what hilarity was ensuing on that particular day. Lo and behond, she had her wife on the show with her, which was very awkward to watch. For those of you who don't know, her wife is a model/actress/TV show hostess. My mom and I were talking about this today, and I was saying how I don't understand one particular thing about homosexuality. Maybe all couples that choose this lifestyle aren't this way, but the ones I've known or known of, seem to consist of both a "male" and "female" figure (in other words, one is clearly masculine and one is clearly more feminine). My question is, if this is necessary and still has to be defined within this type of relationship, why can't it just be heterosexual in the first place? Now, I'm not dumb or naive. I know there's a lot more that goes into the issue than who plays man and who plays woman....but it seems a little contradictory, and I'm not really sure I understand the necessity....not that it matters, not that it has any bearing on the seriousness of the subject, or changes anything. It was just an interesting thought, food for thought if you will.

4. A Victoria's Secret commercial just came on TV, and I'm wondering why they're always so akin to porn? It's women who wear the stuff, right? So why on EARTH are they practically naked? Are the women supposed to think, "Dude, if I wear that, I'll look like a walking-stick bug with huge boobs, too!" ? Are the men supposed to think about how their wives will look in that stuff, rather than the woman already there blatantly flashing him on TV? I don't think soooo....In case you were wondering, I do NOT shop there.

5. On a brighter note, I'm still losing weight. I've lost three more pounds since the last time I wrote, which is less than I'd like, but is definitely progress. I've got 5 more to be at pre-pregnancy weight, and 10 to be where I'd really feel terrific and fit awesomely into everything stitch of clothing I own. And I owe an apology to everyone I scoffed at that said it's harder to lose the baby weight with the second baby. So sad, so true. I offer my sincerist, humblest apologies. I'm having to work harder this time around than I've ever had to work. But man it feels good to get on that scale and see I've lost another pound, and to feel my jeans buttoning withOUT the doughnut ring around the top :)

6. Projects I'm currently working on: my book (which is a little blocked and frozen right now, due to my weakness at writing dialogue...I'm more of a narrator kinda gal, but eventually people have to talk, right? :) ).....updating both boys' pictures on shutterfly so family can order and I can get all scrapbooking and photo albums good to go.....finishing Bennett's photo album up to now.....begin Jasper's first year scrapbook and baby book.....organizing my old journals which have been up in the attic for years (they're a hoot and a half, let me tell ya - dating back all the way to 8th grade - HA!). All of these, aside from the book, are summer projects, so we'll see.

7. Bennett is 2 1/2 now, and Jasper is 3 months, which is crazy. It goes without saying, we're so blessed with these boys. I'm amazed everyday. They're beautiful and I'm trying to absorb it all, remember it all, and delight in it all. This is such a precious, quickly passing stage of life. I. LOVE. IT. I'm also amazed at how much they already love each other, and how easily Jasper has become a part of our family that was always missing. He completes exactly what we should be right now, and I'm glad God knew what we needed and wanted, even before we did. The Lord is so good and so faithful. The way He makes things unfold is just beautiful to watch.

8. I LOVE to read and typically read a steady stream on a regular basis, but my sources for good authors and books and series are drying up. Anybody have any good suggestions? I'd rather not resort to trash and cheaply written junk out of desperation. Any good authors or series anybody just loves or used to love? Any and all suggestions are appreciated!

9. I seriously need to work on encouraging other people. I used to be a pro at this and thought about it all the time, writing notes, sincerely complimenting others, etc., but that was years ago. I've really let it go by the wayside I'm ashamed to say. This is shameful because a) I feel encouraged by others on a regular basis, but fail to give back, and b) I think encouraging things in my head about people ALL the time, but rarely voice them anymore, then later I think "I should've actually told them that out loud!" So I'm praying about that and trying to make it a habit again.

And that's all I've got right now...whew. I really do feel a little more light-headed (in a good way). So thanks for reading and giving me a minute to unload the randomness.

THUMB-SUCKER

PROUD

Michael just finished up his graduate degree from UNT, and I couldn't be prouder! He's been working on it off and on for about 3 years, and I was amazed that his work never effected our family life at home. He's always been so good about taking care of me and the boys and pulling more than his fair share of the load around the house.

To celebrate, our family went out to eat with my parents and Michael's mom, who came to visit for a couple of days, and then we had an AMAZING cake that turned out beautifully, and Blue Bell ice cream, of course :) Yum.

So proud of you, hon!