Sunday, October 31, 2010


la·dy (ld)
n. pl. la·dies
1. A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior.
2. a. A woman regarded as proper and virtuous.
b. A well-behaved young girl.
3. A woman who is the head of a household.
4. A woman, especially when spoken of or to in a polite way.

And so the rant/soap box/randomness begins, but this has been bugging me so much lately, I really can't help myself.

Ah, the word has so many different connotations, and is used so lightly and flippantly these days. But the truth is, to be a lady, you have to act like a lady. And sadly, I see so many women who, at times, act nothing like the word.
*Does a lady feel the need to slight or insult another woman, especially one who might be awkward, or social inept, or unattractive, or annoying, or different, or financially strapped, etc etc etc?
No. A lady loves and gives and reaches out.

*Does a lady quickly turn on others who have offended or "bested" her?
No. She extends grace and forgives and moves forward.

*Does a lady gossip and spread around juicy tidbits of news about others?
No. A lady keeps quiet. She encourages, she uplifts.

*Does a lady join in something morally wrong to preserve her image, or the good opinion of others?
No. She has a backbone and convictions, and she stands by them. Her trust is in the Lord, not in men (or women, as it were).

Why do we as women have such a difficult time being ladies? Because I for one think it is ridiculous that we women who claim to belong to Christ, justify and excuse our behavior toward one another. And of COURSE I am speaking to myself as well. My own words and actions and thoughts have disturbed me just as much at times.

I was talking to a friend several weeks ago, and she said sometimes she wishes we could get all of the women at church our age - our peers - together in one room and talk out why on earth we think it's okay to attack, demean, judge and talk about each other. Not just nasty, ugly, menacing things, because truth be told, we probably wouldn't get away with that - everyone would see our "true colors." No, she and I were talking about how women can snub, choose sides, pick teams, and look down at other women, and how hurtful that is to others. What if we all got together and were honest with each other? What if we committed to overlooking the sins and pitfalls of others, and worked on our own selves instead? What if we saw that annoying, silly, uninteresting, untalented woman (as we have judged her to be) in the light the Lord sees her in - His bride, His chosen one, His special interest? What if it wasn't necessary to be better than someone else?

This seems to be a plight of women, something so many of us (except for a select few I know that have always risen above it all - goodness, I wish I knew how they do it!) struggle with, and it just doesn't make sense. We spend our time and energy and feelings sizing ourselves up, comparing, judging, and hurting each other. Why do women do this?? When our energy could be focused on helping, healing, ministering, loving our children, setting Christ's example, serving, and delighting in the gifts the Lord has given each of us, while making allowances and a safe place for the faults and short-comings we all have?

I would apologize for this little sermonette, except that it's my blog, so I can write about whatever I want, right? So here it is, all out in the open. And if nothing else, maybe this will give me more accountability and make me think twice when I am tempted to open my mouth or flap my jaws about something that just isn't Christ-like. Because I really do want to be a lady. Ladies look pretty, inside and out. They're kind. They're loving. They're generous and helpful. They're confident and carefree. They're what God intended women to be.
Okay, whew. Deep breath. Now I'm repelling back down the mountain this soap box has morphed into, and making a list of upcoming blogs:

1) Halloween activities and pictures.
2) Garage sale.
2) Update on book(s). That's right. Plural. :)
3) No Shame. (a post about getting help when you NEED help - again with the randomness)
4) House cleaning. Because I've got this bad boy under control for the first time in my life (knock on wood).
5) Crafty projects/decorating.

And if you decide to continue reading after today's toe-smashing event, I give you a kudos, a two-thumbs up, a pat on the back, and a Starbucks toffe-mocha frappacino all rolled into one.


Betsy@Living in the Moment said...

Yes i will comment on this post. I love your boldness and your honesty. Thank you. Coffee soon.