"SPECIAL"

I had my "special" moment of the week this morning. We had a birthday party to go to at a jump place a good distance away (about 20 minutes), and I spent the morning packing our bags, wrapping the birthday boy's present, getting directions, dressing the boys and myself up in our "party garb," etc etc.

When we got the invitation in the mail a week or so ago, I remember registering the fact that the party was scheduled for Friday, and I planted the thought in my head that it was for May 7th.

So...we load up, stop off at Michael's school to get the umbrella stroller out of his car, then drive the distance, all the while talking about how much fun Bennett's going to have with Isaiah and Belle at the party...

We get there, I unload in frenzied mode (we're about 15 minutes late, which I feel bad about), we walk through this large building to the back corner to find the actual jump room. I pull out my invitation ticket and say to the lady up front "We're here for Isaiah's party." She looks at me blankly and I think "uh-oh..." Then she looks at the ticket and says in the sweetest voice, "This party is on the 14th. Next week." She points to the date written plain as the nose on my face, right smack in the middle of the invitation, which I obviously didn't glance at once to double check. Nice. She then tells me it's $5 Friday if I just want to stay. So that's what we did. Because we'd driven all that way. Because we were loaded down with all our stuff, and because poor Bennett was SOOOO excited.

This place ended up being more fun than the one we usually go to near our house, and Bennett was pretty stoked at the idea of making the trek out there again next Friday, so it all turned out fine. Still, definitely a "special" morning for me.

APPLES AND ORANGES

We went to the zoo today and I had a conversation with a couple of friends about the difference between boys and girls. It really is amazing to me how different they truly are. I'm so thankful to be a mommy of boys because I know I wouldn't have picked up on these differences or truly understood them without my own two little adventures (all you moms of girls out there don't go getting your feathers ruffled, because I would still love to have a little girl of my own, too, whether she be biological or adopted - I deeply desire to experience BOTH).

While we were looking around at the animals and running in and out of exhibits, there was a stark contrast between the sweet little girl that was with us and Bennett and his boy buddy. The boys were hollering and darting around like chickens with no heads, while the little lady strolled from sight to sight, quietly taking everything in. It was so cute and so impossible to try to get pictures of all of them (I'll post our efforts once they're e-mailed to me), and it's such a blessing to watch God's plan for boys and girls unfold before my eyes - He really did make us different, and He really did give us ingrained purposes and desires. Pretty awesome.

Along with this, my friend and I were laughing about the dirty looks we OFTEN get from moms with girls when our boys jump around and yell and roll in the dirt and splash in the puddles and race in circles around other peoples' strollers and squeeze in front of groups of people no matter how tiny the space. There are some behaviors that are inappropriate and are taught and re-taught as being okay or not okay, but there are SO MANY behaviors that are a direct result of their gender, and there is nothing to be done. About the time Bennett turned 2 1/2 or so, I realized this and stopped wanting to change his boyish behaviors. I correct and discipline him when he is wrong, when he does something ugly, when he needs to be more considerate of others' feelings etc., but a while back, I began to delight in the characteristics that make boys, boys.

My oldest son is an absolute mess, he's a textbook strong-willed child, and he keeps me constantly moving and changing and redirecting - I'm in a perpetual state of living on my toes, and I. LOVE. IT. Yes, sometimes I want to eat my hair, and yes, sometimes I feel like my eyes are going to roll back into my head from exhaustion, but Boy Howdy we sure do have fun. Never a dull moment in our house, especially since his brother is following in his footsteps in many ways.

And since I'm kinda sorta posting about my Benito anyway, I'll give a brief update on him (he's almost 3 1/2 - YIKES, where does the time go??):

--Favorite phrases: "Hey, Mama, I gotta deal! How about we _____." (this is usually a negotiation about eating candy, watching a movie, or playing outside).

"I told you and told you and told you not to do that!" (usually to Jasper, or to Daddy when Michael is purposely agitating him).

"Oh, THANK YOU Mama, THANK YOU!" (usually comes after one of his "deals" working out, or after unexpectedly getting something he's been wanting or has earned).

"Will that make Jesus happy/sad?" (thinking more and more on this, which is obviously wonderful to hear).

"Okay, Mama. I will, I will." (when he's in an agreeable mood and I've asked him to do something to help me).

"Just a little spanking, or a hard spanking?" (I'm sure you can guess when this comes).

--Favorite things: his car collection, playing with his neighbors down the street, going for walks to see the fish pond, his best buddy Cason, going to Let's Jump, playing with Mimi, the water park (which he cannot WAIT to go to again - he asks almost everyday when we'll get to start going), candy, reading new books, sidewalk chalk, chasing birds, agitating his brother, listening to his favorite songs in the car, chicken nuggets with ketchup, gum, taking dishes to the sink to wash them out (beautiful), the playscape at church, watching movies (sigh), playing flashlight tag, dancing and singing songs he knows, etc etc etc.

(pictures of the zoo to follow)

SILENCE

Today something awful happened at the little school I teach at. One of the sweet, precious ladies we teach with passed away in a car accident on her way to work this morning. As we went through the day teaching our innocent, beautiful children who were completely unaware, our own minds numb and disbelieving, I realized something. The idea became solidified as I went through the day, listening to people talk about what had happened, everyone trying to find their own way to express their grief and shock and anger at this sudden tragedy.

I realized that sometimes it's okay to be silent. Sometimes it's best. Being silent before the Lord can be one of the most comforting, self-realizing things we can do.

I tried so hard to find appropriate, socially acceptable things to say and ways to react today, along with everyone else. But throughout the day, I've felt a pressing desire to just be quiet before God, not asking why, not trying to explain or make excuses for His plan, or understanding what good will come from it all someday.

Instead of speaking out loud, I'll quietly mourn and let the Spirit offer prayers that I don't have the words to express myself on behalf of the beautiful family and all of the friends she left behind.

Thank you, Lord, that You do not change. You are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. In You we put our hope and trust.

SURPRISES

Ordinarily I would say I really can't stand surprises. I've always claimed this - I don't like them, I don't want them. I like to know what's happening, I'd rather know it all than be surprised. Every year as a kid when Christmas rolled around, I'd beg and plead with my mom to tell me what she'd gotten me. A lot of times I'd even convince her that she should show me my presents before hand. She always managed to sneak in a couple of unexpected things, but I always knew about "the biggie" well before Christmas morning, then I'd feign surprise for my dad's sake when we opened presents.

Now as a grown-up, it's been almost impossible for Michael to surprise me. The last time it happened was when he pulled out all the stops and proposed. Which was seven years ago.

I confess there's this romantic part of me that has thought from time to time, wouldn't be amazing if he _____ (fill in the blank) - you know, like a surprise party, or a surprise getaway, or a gift of something I'd been wanting...but those thoughts are few and far between because a) my husband totally rocks in so many other ways, and b) I almost always end up finding out about a surprise before hand (poor Michael, he's tried so many times).

However, two nights ago he got me. Big time. His school has provided the teachers with new Apple Mac laptops, and he brought his home to show me. I "oohed" and "ahhed" over it and he showed me all the terrific things we could do on it. He asked me what I thought and I told him it was amazing. We'd talked on and off about getting me a new laptop and decided that once I finished my book (which is about 50-75 pages away from completion - eek!) we would go shopping to reward all the hard work.

So imagine my surprise after I reassured him that a Mac was totally what I would want (they're SO cool), he reached under our bed and pulled out a package and said, "Well, good. I got you one." For the first time EVER I was truly, utterly speechless - completely shocked - I hadn't had a clue. Apparently he'd taken Bennett the weekend before to the Apple store and picked it out for me, with thoughtful features that will help me with my writing. If you know my husband, you know that financially he is a planner and a saver and is VERY conservative (I love this about him, and for the most part we have this in common, but he's definitely more this way than I am), and he just doesn't do things that are unexpected, and he doesn't make big purchases without really sitting on them, processing, and considering. So it was extra special that he put all of his instincts aside to do something special for me and to make me feel so loved and appreciated. It really took me about five minutes to start talking again, and even then, I just kept saying, "I can't believe you did this. I can't believe you did this!"

So here I am, typing away on my new Mac, learning the ends and outs, and feeling very loved. Here's a shout-out to my man - he's pretty stinkin' awesome.

SPRING SING

We spent the weekend in Searcy for Harding's Spring Sing. Bennett and Jasper did pretty good on the ride there and back: they both went on sleep strikes, but neither one cried or fussed much, which was nice. The boys had a fantastic time with Nanna and Papa, and Michael and I got to go on a date to see the Saturday night show and meet up with old friends from the clubs we were in. It was an interesting experience because we hadn't been back in five years (despite the fact that we were two of the most gung-ho Harding people you could imagine, and Michael lived there his whole life until I dragged him here :) ). It's a strange and humbling feeling to know that life goes on without you, things change, and people forget about the things that you once thought were so important. That's life I guess, but it's a bizarre thing to realize. College was an amazing experience for both of us, but we wouldn't trade our life and our family and the choices we've made so far for anything. Michael and I have grown so much as a couple and as individuals - something that can't happen until you're in the "real world." But it's still funny how small your world can be, and you be completely oblivious to it at the time...makes me wonder what I'll think when I look back on the season I'm in right now :)
Anyway, enough with the rant. Here are a bunch of pictures, including a few around campus and some Easter shots.

THE PROOF IS IN THE PUKE

So if I have anything to say about it, Michael won't be going out of town again for a good long while. The last time he went somewhere was for a week, and because he's so active and involved with our boys, I'm spoiled rotten and have a hard time when he's gone. But that aside, it seems like every time he's gone, at least one of us (me or one of the boys) gets sick BIG time. This last time, we ended up going to the doctor THREE different times, once for each of us. Ridiculous.

And today...you guessed it. Sick again. Jasper up-chucked like nothing I've seen, poor baby. Neither of my boys have EVER thrown up, so I've never known how I would respond or exactly what all an event of this magnitude would entail. Well....now I know, lucky me. Fortunately, I seem to have a rock-solid gag reflex (hope you do, too, if you're reading this).

Of course, Michael wasn't there. His timing for trips and events is perfect. The proof is in the puke, my friends.

I CAN'T STAND IT

I really can't. They're just so stinkin' cute. :)

BIRTHDAY BABY

Happy 1st Birthday to my precious Jasper John!

What joy and blessings our little red-head has brought to our family. I prayed that God would give me a snuggly, cuddly, affectionate baby, and goodness did He answer that prayer. Jasper is my pal, my little shadow, and I love him for all that he is and all that God will help him become as he grows.

Today has been bittersweet for me. For some reason, his first birthday has made me feel like crying, like mourning the loss of my baby as he becomes a little boy, day by day. It's funny, because I distinctly remember being so excited about Bennett turning one, and about celebrating his milestones and being thrilled by each one. When my first-born turned one, it was like I'd accomplished something, like I'd helped make that year pass along as it should. With my second, I've begged time to slow a bit, and I've been scratching my head, trying to figure out how on earth a year has managed to sneak past me, stealing my baby away. I know I'm being dramatic, but Jasper has always seemed more delicate, more babyish, more needy, than Bennett ever did, and I've loved that about him. In part, that has defined our relationship, and I've soaked it in. Obviously all that hasn't changed in one day, and it's possible my little red-head will always be a Mama's boy (which I wouldn't mind at all :) ), but his first birthday marks a rite of passage in my mind. It means that I'm not in control (which is good, because God does a much better job), and that I can't slow something down that I think is moving too fast. Time keeps moving, and my boys keeping stretching and growing and learning (as they should). I'm glad for this, but as I said, it's bittersweet.

Okay, and after reading this little novella about my baby boy, if you're still here, I applaud you. Next up is a short list of milestones he's reached, and then what everyone's here for: birthday party and the pictures of his actual birthday, and as a bonus for sticking around so long, I made a couple of cute videos today of Jasper giggling and being entertained, and my oh-so-talented husband edited them together for your viewing pleasure.

MILESTONES:

**Words -- technically, his first word was "hi," although he rarely says it, and never on command. His second word was "again," and he says this fairly regularly. His third word...MAMA!! YESSSS!! I shouldn't be surprised, but it melts my heart every time, and I was so excited that he started saying it so early, because Bennett didn't say it for a LOOONG time (I don't think he saw the need since I was always at hand anyway). In general, his sounds and communication have really started moving along in the last month or two. I never get tired of hearing his sweet little voice.

**Teeth -- the kid has NINE little chicklet teeth, including one molar. Insane. People get so confused about his age when they see him because he's small for his age, but he has a mouth FULL of little pearly whites :)

**Food -- he's perfectly capable of eating finger foods, but it's touch and go. His favorites are baked potato, ritz crackers, cheerios and cheese on occasion. He's got a definite sweet-tooth. And he's getting better with his sippy cup. When he's truly thirsty, he drinks from it with no problem. He also loves to eat leaves, but that's something I'm trying to talk him out of.

**Motor skills -- He can stand unassisted, but can't get to the position on his own yet. It's going to be two or three more months before walking hits the scene, I'm thinking. He's clapping his hands now and is VERY proud of himself for it. He loves showing off this particular skill. His right hand/arm/side of neck continues to improve and get stronger, and with this, his range of motion and strength continues to improve, although he still prefers his left hand for grabbing, pulling, and manipulating objects.

**Favorite things -- he LOVES big brother's cars, and he's crazy about large balls and balloons - we play "roll the ball" a LOT. He also loves to read books (although I don't do it with him nearly as much as I did with Bennett *sigh*), loves to take baths, and with the warmer weather lately we're discovering he is crazy about being outdoors.


And now for the pictures:

THE PUPPY PARTY...

Thanks so much to everyone who came and made Jasper's big day SO special! Jasper was not at all interested in the smash cake, or opening presents, but lucky for him, he has a big brother who doesn't mind helping with those things at all. :) He was a pretty big fan of the cookies and the puppy chow, though, and played with his new presents a lot after the crowd left.

(I HAD to add this picture of me and Randi's boys. Bennett and Cason are best friends, and Jasper and Braden have very similar temperaments as well. I love how the older boys are laughing it up while the younger ones have gotten their little feelings hurt being away from Mama...very accurate picture :).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

(the saddest face you ever did see)

(birthday hugs)

(checking out his new ride)

(Love. it.)

THEN AND NOW..

"Just for Laughs"

WON'T YOU PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME? (to the tune of the Beatles)

I am SO bummed. Today I decided to wash Bennett's nap mat, bag, blanket, and backpack (since it's been awhile - yikes), and ended up running into the laundry room when I heard a HORRIBLE racket coming from the washer. Turns out, it totally DESTROYED his backpack. This really stinks for two reasons: 1) It was fairly expensive and I planned on him using it all the way up until Kindergarten. 2) It was SO cute, and even had a little flag patch on it that Nanna gave him when he went through his obsession with flags.

I can take the flag patch off, I can order another backpack identical to this one, but since the instructions say to use a cloth and mild soap, I can't just return/exchange it. I have to actually buy a new one. I still can't figure out what went wrong. I've washed the thing before....oh, well. C'est la vie.

But now that I'm looking for a new backpack, I'm thinking about getting something different. I want it to be cute, I want to be junior-sized (not the teeny-tiny annoying ones you can't even fit a folder in, but one that's more toddler sized than your average pack), I don't want it to cost an arm and a leg, and I want it to last. Anybody have any suggestions on brand, website, etc.?

ALSO, Jasper REFUSES, absolutely will NOT drink from a sippy cup. He's down to three bottles a day, and is still getting plenty of fluids from that and his jar foods, but I'd really like to get the ball rolling on this. I've tried two different cups, one with a rubbery, firmer mouth piece, and another that's softer, like a bottle nipple. No can-do. Is there any way to speed this along that anyone else has found? Or do I just keep trying a few times throughout the day, trusting that eventually my child will decide to drink? I've heard the longer you wait, the more dependent they are on their bottle....so I'm wanting to move forward with this if that's the case. Again, any input or words of wisdom would be appreciated.

SARCASM

The main idea behind this post comes from the same marriage seminar I mentioned before. Along with talking about how nuclear words are, the speaker specifically explored the ins and outs of sarcasm. What struck me hardest was the simplest point he made about it: the definition itself.

*Sarcasm -- the use of irony to mock or convey contempt.

YIKES. I've also heard through various sources (although I'm ignorant as to the origin) that "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." That quote could be from some low-budget movie, for all I know, but the idea itself makes sense to me. Sarcasm is a pretty easy thing to engage in and become a master of, and I've become a queen of it myself.

The problem I've noticed with sarcasm is, even when you're just using it to be funny in a group and it's not aimed at anyone else, when you get in the habit of using it, it becomes kind of addictive, and an easy tool to turn to in conversation; it has a way of leaking over into other aspects of your life (ahem, like when you and your husband are fighting and you lay it on really thick, and the definition above shamefully applies).

Soooo...all this being said, I'm working to remove sarcasm from my speech. I'll stretch my brain while trying to be funny and entertain without resorting to the easiest route, and I'll save myself and others some heartache and bleeding ears by curbing my tongue when I'm in a particularly nasty mood (who, me?). It doesn't serve any good purpose, and in me, it promotes something ugly that I don't want coming out from the overflow of my heart.